blank'/> SHARING CATHOLIC TRUTH: PAIN MANAGEMENT - & - Elizabeth Kübler Ross -The Five Stages of Grief (The Kübler-Ross model) - Fr Elija Vells's book - Thobb Ifisser Tghix - & - CATHOLIC TEACHINGS REGARDING ANCESTRAL CURSES

Sunday, December 20, 2015

PAIN MANAGEMENT - & - Elizabeth Kübler Ross -The Five Stages of Grief (The Kübler-Ross model) - Fr Elija Vells's book - Thobb Ifisser Tghix - & - CATHOLIC TEACHINGS REGARDING ANCESTRAL CURSES

 
John 9:2-3 "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life !"
--- from Chapter John 9:1-41
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Jn 9:1-41 -- Jesus Heals a Man Born Blind - Ġesù jfejjaq raġel agħma minn twelidu

9. Ġesù jfejjaq raġel agħma minn twelidu
[Ġw:9:1] Kif kien għaddej, lemaħ raġel agħma minn twelidu, [Ġw:9:2] u d-dixxipli tiegħu staqsewh: "Rabbi, dan twieled agħma għax dineb hu stess, jew għax dinbu l-ġenituri tiegħu?" [Ġw:9:3] Ġesù wieġeb: "Mhux għax dineb hu jew il-ġenituri tiegħu, imma ġralu hekk biex l-għemil ta' Alla jidher fih. [Ġw:9:4] Sakemm għadu binhar, jeħtiġilna nagħmlu  x-xogħol ta' dak li bagħatni, għax jasal il-lejl meta ħadd ma jkun jista' jaħdem. [Ġw:9:5] Sakemm għadni fid-dinja, jiena hu d-dawl  tad-dinja." [Ġw:9:6] Kif qal dan, beżaq fl-art, għamel minnu qisu tajn, u dilek bih għajnejn ir-raġel agħma. [Ġw:9:7] U qallu: "Mur inħasel  fil-menqgħa ta' Silwam." Din tfisser 'il-Mibgħut'. Mela dak mar, nħasel u ġie jara. [Ġw:9:8] Il-ġirien u dawk li s-soltu kienu jarawh, għax hu kien tallab, qalu: "Dan m'huwiex dak li kien joqgħod bilqiegħda jittallab?" [Ġw:9:9] Xi wħud qalu: "Iva, hu." Oħrajn qalu: "Le, imma jixbhu." Iżda hu qalilhom: "Jiena hu." [Ġw:9:10] Qalulu: "Mela kif infetħulek għajnejk?" [Ġw:9:11] Weġibhom: "Wieħed raġel, jgħidulu Ġesù, għamel ftit tajn, dilikli għajnejja bih, u qalli, 'Mur fis-Silwam u nħasel hemm.' Mort, nħsilt, u ġejt nara." [Ġw:9:12] Qalulu: "Fejn huwa dan ir-raġel?" Qalilhom: "Ma nafx."
Il-Fariżej jistaqsu dwar il-fejqan
[Ġw:9:13] Lil dan il-bniedem li fl-imgħoddi kien agħma ħaduh għand  il-Fariżej. [Ġw:9:14] Issa dak in-nhar li Ġesù għamel it-tajn u fetaħ għajnejn l-agħma inzerta kien is-Sibt. [Ġw:9:15] Il-Fariżej ukoll staqsew mill-ġdid lill-agħma kif sar jara. U hu qalilhom: "Qegħedli ftit tajn fuq għajnejja, mort ninħasel, u issa qiegħed nara." [Ġw:9:16] Xi wħud  mill-Fariżej qalu: "Dan il-bniedem m'huwiex ġej mingħand Alla, għax ma jħarisx is-Sibt." Iżda oħrajn qalu: "Kif jista' wieħed midneb jagħmel sinjali bħal dawn?" U ma qablux bejniethom. [Ġw:9:17] U reġgħu qalu lill-agħma: "Int x'jidhirlek minnu, issa li fetaħlek għajnejk?" Qalilhom: "Dak profeta."
[Ġw:9:18] Il-Lhud ma ridux jemmnu li hu kien agħma u ħa  d-dawl qabel ma bagħtu għall-ġenituri ta' dak li sar jara, [Ġw:9:19] u staqsewhom: "Dan, li intom qegħdin tgħidu li twieled agħma, dan binkom? Mela issa kif ġie jara?"  [Ġw:9:20] Il-ġenituri tiegħu wieġbu u qalulhom: "Nafu li dan hu t-tifel tagħna u li twieled agħma; [Ġw:9:21] imma kif issa ġie jara, dan ma nafuhx, u anqas ma nafu min fetaħlu għajnejh. Staqsu lilu, żmien għandu; ħa jitkellem hu għalih innifsu." [Ġw:9:22] Il-ġenituri tiegħu wieġbu hekk għaliex beżgħu  mil-Lhud, għax il-Lhud kienu ġa ftiehmu bejniethom li jekk xi ħadd jistqarr li Ġesù hu l-Messija, isib ruħu barra mis-sinagoga. [Ġw:9:23] Kien għalhekk li l-ġenituri tiegħu wieġbu, 'Żmien għandu, staqsu lilu.'
[Ġw:9:24] Għal darb'oħra reġgħu bagħtu għal dak li kien agħma u qalulu: "Agħti glorja lil Alla! Aħna nafu li dan il-bniedem huwa midneb." [Ġw:9:25] Dak weġibhom: "Jekk hux midneb ma nafx; ħaġa waħda naf: li jien kont agħma u issa qiegħed nara." [Ġw:9:26] Qalulu: "Imma hu x'għamillek? Kif fetaħhomlok għajnejk?" [Ġw:9:27] U hu weġibhom: "Ġa għedtilkom u ma smajtux! Xi tridu tisimgħu iżjed? Jaqaw tridu intom ukoll issiru dixxipli tiegħu?" [Ġw:9:28] U qabdu jgħajjruh u qalulu: "Dak int dixxiplu tiegħu! Aħna ta' Mosè dixxipli! [Ġw:9:29] Aħna nafu li lil Mosè kellmu Alla, imma dan ma nafux minn fejn hu!" [Ġw:9:30] Weġibhom ir-raġel u qalilhom: "Sewwa! Hawn qiegħed l-għaġeb, li intom ma tafux minn fejn inqala', u madankollu lili fetaħli għajnejja! [Ġw:9:31] Aħna nafu li Alla m'hux se jisma' lill-midinbin; iżda mbagħad jekk wieħed ikun iqim lil Alla u jagħmel ir-rieda tiegħu, lil dan jisimgħu. [Ġw:9:32] Qatt fid-dinja ma nstema' li xi ħadd fetaħ għajnejn wieħed agħma  mit-twelid. [Ġw:9:33] Li kieku dan ma kienx ġej mingħand Alla, xejn ma kien ikollu ħila jagħmel." [Ġw:9:34] Mbagħad qabżu u qalulu: "Int se tgħallem lilna, int li twelidt dnubiet waħdek?" U keċċewh 'il barra.
L-għama spiritwali
[Ġw:9:35] Ġesù sama' li keċċewh 'il barra; sabu u qallu: "Temmen inti f'Bin il-bniedem?" [Ġw:9:36] Dak wieġeb u qallu: "Min hu, Mulej, biex nemmen fih?" [Ġw:9:37] Qallu Ġesù: "Mhux biss rajtu, imma huwa dak stess li qiegħed ikellmek." [Ġw:9:38] Qallu: "Nemmen, Mulej!" U nxteħet għarkubbtejh quddiemu. [Ġw:9:39] Mbagħad Ġesù qal: "Jien ġejt fid-dinja biex nagħmel ħaqq, biex min ma jarax isir jara, u min jara jagħma."
[Ġw:9:40] Xi wħud mill-Fariżej li kienu hemm madwaru semgħuh jgħid dan u staqsewh: "Aħna wkoll għomja?"  [Ġw:9:41] Weġibhom Ġesù: "Li kieku kontu għomja, ma kontux tkunu ħatja ta' dnub. Imma issa qegħdin tgħidu, 'Aħna naraw.' Mela d-dnub tagħkom għadu fuqkom."

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PHILIPPIANS 4:6-9
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Meditate on These Things
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.



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FILIPPIN 4:6-9

[Fil:4:6] Tħabbtu raskom b'xejn. Fit-talb kollu tagħkom itolbu u uru lil Alla xi jkollkom bżonn, u iżżuh ħajr. [Fil:4:7] U s-sliem ta' Alla, sliem li jgħaddi kull ma l-moħħ jista' jifhem, iżommilkom qalbkom u moħħkom sħaħ fi Kristu Ġesù.

 

[Fil:4:8] Mill-bqija, ħuti, f'dan għandkom taħsbu: f'kull ma hu veru, f'kull ma hu xieraq, f'kull ma hu ġust, f'kull ma hu safi, f'kull ma jiġbed l-imħabba, f'kull ma jistħoqqlu l-ġieħ, f'kull ma hu virtù, f'kull ma ħaqqu t-tifħir; f'dan kollu aħsbu. [Fil:4:9] U kull ma tgħallimtu u ħadtu mingħandna, u smajtu u rajtu fina, agħmluh. Alla tas-sliem ikun magħkom.


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PAIN MANAGEMENT



 
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 Elizabeth Kübler Ross -The Five Stages of Grief (The Kübler-Ross model)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

  1. Denial — The first reaction is denial. In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.
  2. Anger — When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".
  3. Bargaining — The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise.
  4. Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon, so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the individual becomes saddened by the mathematical probability of death. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
  5. Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."; "Nothing is impossible."
    In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

 
 
5stages2
DENIAL Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle. As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. But as you proceed, all the feelings you were denying begin to surface.
5stages3
ANGER Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself and your loved one who died, but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this? Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger. Anger is strength and it can be an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothingness of loss. At first grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything. Then you get angry at someone, maybe a person who didn’t attend the funeral, maybe a person who isn’t around, maybe a person who is different now that your loved one has died. Suddenly you have a structure – – your anger toward them. The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to them. It is something to hold onto; and a connection made from the strength of anger feels better than nothing.We usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.
5stages4
BARGAINING Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared. “Please God, ” you bargain, “I will never be angry at my wife again if you’ll just let her live.” After a loss, bargaining may take the form of a temporary truce. “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others. Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want life returned to what is was; we want our loved one restored. We want to go back in time: find the tumor sooner, recognize the illness more quickly, stop the accident from happening…if only, if only, if only. Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. The “if onlys” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently. We may even bargain with the pain. We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt. People often think of the stages as lasting weeks or months. They forget that the stages are responses to feelings that can last for minutes or hours as we flip in and out of one and then another. We do not enter and leave each individual stage in a linear fashion. We may feel one, then another and back again to the first one.

5stages5
DEPRESSION After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone? Why go on at all? Depression after a loss is too often seen as unnatural: a state to be fixed, something to snap out of. The first question to ask yourself is whether or not the situation you’re in is actually depressing. The loss of a loved one is a very depressing situation, and depression is a normal and appropriate response. To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be unusual. When a loss fully settles in your soul, the realization that your loved one didn’t get better this time and is not coming back is understandably depressing. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way.
5stages6
ACCEPTANCE Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel OK or all right about the loss of a loved one. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it. It is the new norm with which we must learn to live. We must try to live now in a world where our loved one is missing. In resisting this new norm, at first many people want to maintain life as it was before a loved one died. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot maintain the past intact. It has been forever changed and we must readjust. We must learn to reorganize roles, re-assign them to others or take them on ourselves. Finding acceptance may be just having more good days than bad ones. As we begin to live again and enjoy our life, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved one. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move, we change, we grow, we evolve. We may start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief its time.
 
 
 
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Apart from the series of programmes in Maltese - Balzmu Fuq il-Feriti (Balm On The Wounds) broadcasted on Radju Marija Malta, Fr Elija Vella OFM Conv. has published the book -
TĦOBB IFISSER TGĦIX 2014 (To Love Means to Live)
L-għan ta' dan il-ktieb huwa li niltaqgħu ma' Ġesù u li jkollna esperjenza tiegħu li tbiddilkom. Min jista' jbiddilkom? Ebda esseri uman ma jista' jagħmel dan;kemm jekk ikun Malti kemm jekk ikun mill-Istati Uniti jew minn xi parti oħra tad-dinja. Huwa biss Ġesù li jista' jagħmel dan;bil-qawwa tal-Ispirtu s-Santu. U dan Ġesù jagħmlu u jagħmlu għalikom waqt li qegħdin taqraw dan il-ktieb. Dan intom temmnuh?


 
 
 
 



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http://www.catholicdoors.com/misc/apologetics/ancestralcurses.htm
http://www.catholicdoors.com/misc/apologetics/ancestralcurses.htm

ERRONEUS INTERPRETATION CAN BE HARMFUL by Fr. Antony Payyapally

There are some people who twist the Word of God while speaking about ancestral curses. I have heard many people giving wrong interpretations when talking about the primeval curse mentioned in the Bible.

Some allege that sins of parents or ancestors are the cause of various misfortunes like sickness, not having children, accidents, loss of fortunes, debts, etc. Such erroneous interpretations can give rise to a lot of misunderstandings. They can be the reason for children to have an aversion for their parents. When children tell their parents that it is due to their misdeeds that their own children are not able to find life-partners or that they are not having children, imagine the grief and guilt feelings that the old parents will experience!

Once an elderly couple came to see me. The man had his chin twisted to one side. I asked them whether it was always like that. "No, Father" the wife replied, "Yesterday our darling son caught his father's neck and twisted it." Then I asked whether their son was suffering from any mental disorders. "No, Father," again she replied, "The other day he went to attend a one-day convention. Ever since he came back from there he hates his father's sight. Whenever they happen to face each other, the son threatens the father and abuses him." Since their house was not far away I sent for the son and during the conversation casually asked him why he had beaten his father. Immediately he flared up and replied that the old man should not only be thrashed but must be killed. Then he took off his shirt and showed me his body disfigured by the skin disease known as psoriasis. Only his face was not affected.

"For the past twelve years," he said, "I am putting up with this. I have gone to every hospital and have taken all kinds of medicines, but to no effect. I did not know how it came about, but recently I attended a retreat. The retreat preacher told us that God would punish up till the fourth and fifth generations for the curses incurred by the ancestors. I went to him for counseling and after praying he told me that my sickness was the result of the sins of my father's father. When I came to know that my grandfather is the cause of my ailment I felt bitter against my father too. I was so angry that when I reached home seeing my father sitting in the verandah I said to myself, 'His father is dead but he is here and let him pay for it,' so I gave him a tight one."

I corrected the wrong notions that he had acquired. I showed him the context in the Bible where we read; "I bring punishment on those who hate me and on their descendents down to the third and fourth generation" (Exodus 20:5). God seeing the iniquity and hard-heartedness of the Israelites said this so that they might not be lost and to teach them the seriousness of their sins. Later when Jesus came He gave us a clear answer when seeing a blind man the disciple asked Him, "Teacher, whose sins caused him to be born blind? Was it his own or his parents' sin?" Jesus answered, "His blindness has nothing to do with his sins or his parent's sins. He is blind so that God's power might be seen at work in him" (Jn. 9:2-3).

In the Book of Ezekiel we read, "What is this proverb people keep repeating in the land of Israel? 'The parents ate the sour grapes, but the children got the sour taste.' As surely as I am the living God, says the sovereign Lord, You will not repeat this proverb in Israel anymore. The life of every person belongs to me, the life of the parent as well as that of the child. The person who sins is the one who will die" (18:1-4). If the father eats sour grapes the son will not get the sour taste, only the father will get it. Everyone's life is in God's hands. "Parents are not to be put to death for crimes committed by their children, and children are not to be put to death for crimes committed by their parents; a person is to be put to death only for a crime he himself has committed"(2 Kings 14:6).

"You know what was paid to set you free from the worthless manner of life handed down by your ancestors. It was not something that can be destroyed, such as silver or gold. It was the costly sacrifice of Christ, who was like a lamb without defect or flaw"(1 Peter 1:18-19). In order to take away the sin of the whole world God gave us a lamb, His own son(Jn.1:29). This Lamb that was sent to take away the sin of the whole human race was sacrificed on the cross on Calvary. For our sake, due to our sins, Christ became accursed. Therefore, we should not put blame on our ancestors or our parents for the cause of our sicknesses, or debts or having no children. I said all this to that son who stood before me with tears in his eyes. "Your illness is in the plan of God," I told him.

Before my very eyes he fell at his father's feet and begged for pardon. Three or four weeks later the father, the mother and the son together came to see me. He took off his shirt before me; he was completely healed of his skin disease. Thanks be to God!

 




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