very happy that the doctor was being so considerate (251) for my sake. You see, Jesus, that I have already done whatever was up to me; now I am counting on You and am quite at peace.
Monday, February 17, 2014
PART 3 of 4 - DIVINE MERCY IN MY SOUL --- DIARY OF SAINT MARIA FAUSTINA KOWALSKA
very happy that the doctor was being so considerate (251) for my sake. You see, Jesus, that I have already done whatever was up to me; now I am counting on You and am quite at peace.
very happy that the doctor was being so considerate (251) for my sake. You see, Jesus, that I have already done whatever was up to me; now I am counting on You and am quite at peace.
879 I saw Father Andrasz as he was saying Holy Mass today. Before the Elevation, I saw the Infant Jesus with His hands spread out, and He was very joyous; then, after a moment, I saw nothing more. I was in my room and I continued making my thanksgiving. But later on, I thought to myself, “Why was the Infant Jesus so merry: After all, He is not always so merry when I see Him.” Then I heard these words interiorly: Because I am very much at home in his heart. And I was not at all surprised at this, because I know he loves Jesus very much.
880 My union with the dying is still as close as ever. Oh, how incomprehensible is God‟s mercy that the Lord allows me, by my unworthy prayer, to come to the aid of the dying. I try to be at the side of every dying person whenever I can. Have confidence in God, for He is good and inconceivable. His mercy surpasses our understanding.
881 (252) January 14, 1937. Today, Jesus entered my room wearing a bright robe and girded with a golden belt. His whole figure resplendent with great majesty. He said, My daughter, why are you giving in to thoughts of fear? I answered, “O Lord, You know why.” And He said, Why? “This work frightens me. You know that I am incapable of carrying it out.” And He said, Why? “You see very well that I am not in good health, that I have no education, that I have no money, that I am an abyss of misery, that I fear contacts with people. Jesus, I desire only You. You can release me from this.” And the Lord said to me, My daughter, what you have said is true. You are very miserable, and it pleased Me to carry out this work of mercy precisely through you who are nothing but misery itself. Do not fear; I will not leave you alone. Do whatever you can in this matter; I will accomplish everything that is lacking in you. You know what is within your power to do; do that. Then Lord looked into the depth of my being with great kindness; I thought I would die for joy under that gaze. The Lord disappeared, and joy, (253) strength and power to act remained in my soul. But I was surprised that the Lord did not want to release me and that he is not changing anything. He has once said. And despite all these joys, there is always a shadow of sorrow. I see that love and sorrow go hand in hand.
882 I rarely have such visions. But I more often commune with the Lord in a more profound manner. My senses sleep and, although not in a visible way, all things become more real and clearer to me than if I saw them with my eyes. My intellect learns more in one moment than during long years of thinking and meditation, both as regards the essence of God and as regards revealed truths, and also as regard the knowledge of my own misery.
883 Nothing disturbs my union with the Lord, neither conversation with others nor any duties; even if I am to go about settling very important matters, this does not disturb me. My spirit is with God, and my interior being is filled with God, so I do not look for Him (254) outside myself. He, the Lord, penetrates my soul just as a ray from the sun penetrates clear glass. When I was enclosed in my mother‟s womb, I was not so closely united with her as I am with my God. There, it was unawareness; but here, it is the fullness of reality and the consciousness of union. My visions are purely interior, but the more I understand them, the less I am able to express them in words.
884 Oh, how beautiful is the world of the spirit! And so real that, by comparison, the exterior life is just a vain illusion and powerlessness.
885 Jesus, give me the strength and wisdom to get through this terrible wilderness, that my heart may bear patiently this longing for You, O my Lord! I always remain in holy amazement when I sense that You are approaching me, You, the Lord of the awesome throne; that You descend to this miserable exile and visit this poor beggar who has nothing but misery! I do not know how to entertain You, my Royal Prince, but You know that I love You with every beat of my heart. I see how You lower yourself, but nevertheless our majesty does not (255) diminish in my eyes. I know that You love me with the love of a bridegroom, and that is enough for me. Although we are separated by a great chasm, for You are the Creator and I am Your creature, nevertheless, love alone explains our union. Without it, all is incomprehensible. Only love makes it possible to understand these incomprehensible intimacies with which You visit me. O Jesus, Your greatness terrifies me, and I would be in constant astonishment and fear, if You yourself did not set me at peace. You make me capable of communing with You before each approach.
886 January 15, 1937. Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of god. My heart, longing for God, feels the whole misery of exile. I keep going forward bravely – though my feet become wounded – to my homeland and, on the way, I nourish myself on the will of God. It is my food. Help me, happy inhabitants of the heavenly homeland, so that your sister may not falter on the way. Although the desert is fearful, I walk with lifted head and eyes fixed on the sun; that is to say, on the merciful Heart of Jesus.
887 (256) January 19, 1937. My life at present flows on in peaceful awareness of God. My silent soul lives on Him, and this conscious life of God in my soul is for me a source of happiness and strength. I do not look for happiness outside the depths of my soul in which God dwells; of this I am aware. I feel a certain need to share myself with others. I have discovered a fountain of happiness in my soul, and it is God. O my God, I see that everything that surrounds me is filled with God, and most of all my own soul, which is adorned with the grace of God. Already now, I will begin to live on that on which I shall live for all eternity.
888 Silence is so powerful a language that it reaches the throne of the living God. Silence is His language, though secret, yet living and powerful.
889 Jesus, You have given me to know and understand in what a soul‟s greatness consists: not in great deeds but in great love. Love has its worth, and it confers greatness on all our deeds. Although our actions are small and ordinary in themselves, because of love they become great and powerful before God.
890 (257) Love is a mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God. The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she knows no slavish compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of soul, because the love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything that surrounds her makes her know that only God Himself is worthy of her love. A soul in love with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same dispositions as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with great care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if, after some time, something turns out to be less successful. She remains
calm, because at the time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it happens that the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her, she then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul understands that there are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her will, she is always with God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in battle; from afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready (258) for battle. She knows she is not alone – God is her strength.
891 January 21, . Since early morning today, I have been wondrously united with the Lord. In the evening, the hospital chaplain visited me. After we had talked for a while, I felt my spirit beginning to immerse itself in God, and I began to lose all sense of what was happening around me. I ardently implored Jesus, “Give me the ability to talk.” And the Lord granted that I could talk freely with him. But there was a moment when I could not understand what the priest was saying. I heard his voice, but it was impossible for me to understand him, and I apologized for not understanding him although I could hear his voice. This is a moment of the grace of union with God, but imperfect, because exteriorly the senses are acting imperfectly too. There is no total immersion in God; that is, suspension of the senses, as often happens when one neither sees nor hears anything exteriorly, the whole soul being freely absorbed in God. When such a grace visits me, I want to be alone, and I ask Jesus to (259) protect me from the eyes of creatures. I was really very embarrassed before the priest, but I was reassured, because he got to know a little of my soul in confession.
892 Today the Lord gave me to know, in spirit, about the Convent of divine Mercy. I saw a great spirit in this convent, but everything was poor and very scanty. O my Jesus, you are allowing me to live in spirit with these souls, but perhaps I shall never set foot there; but may Your Name be blessed, and whatever You have intended, may it be done.
893 January 22, . Today is Friday. My soul is in a sea of suffering. Sinners have taken everything away from me. But that is all right; I have given everything away for their sake that they might know that You are good and infinitely merciful. I shall be faithful to You, come rain or shine.
894 Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor,162 in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. “It is God‟s will, Sister, that you should get (260) well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it.” I felt that the confessor‟s words were Jesus‟ words, and although it made me sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.
I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me, My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!
895 January 23, . I did not feel like writing today. Then I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, you do not live for yourself but for souls; write for their benefit. You know that My will as to your writing has been (261) confirmed many times by your confessors. You know what is pleasing to Me, and if you have any doubts about what I am saying, you also know whom you are to ask. I grant him light to
pronounce judgment on my case. My eye watches over him. My daughter, you are to be like a child towards him, full of simplicity and candor. Put his judgment above all My demands. He will guide you according to My will. If he doesn‟t allow you to carry out My demands, be at peace; I will not judge you, but the matter will remain between Me and him. You are to be obedient.
896 January 25, 1937. Today my soul is steeped in bitterness. O Jesus, O my Jesus, today everyone can add to my cup of bitterness. It makes no difference whether they be friend or foe, they can all inflict suffering on me. And You, O Jesus, are bound to give me strength and power in these difficult moments. O Blessed Host, support me and seal my lips against all murmuring and complaint. When I am silent, I know I shall be victorious.
897 (262) January 27, 1937. I feel considerable improvement in my health. Jesus is bringing me from the gates of death to life, because there was so little left but for me to die, and lo, the Lord grants me the fullness of life. Although I am still to remain in the sanatorium, I am almost completely well. I see that the will of god has not yet been fulfilled in me, and that is why I must live, for I know that if I fulfill everything the Lord has planned for me in this world, He will not leave me in exile any longer, for heaven is my home. But before we go to our Homeland, we must fulfill the will of God on earth; that is, trials and struggles must run their full course in us.
898 O my Jesus, You are giving me back my health and life; give me also strength for battle, because I am unable to do anything without You. Give me strength, for You can do all things. You see that I am a frail child, and what can I do:
I know the full power of Your mercy, and I trust that You will give me everything your feeble child needs.
899 (263) I have desired death so much! I do not know whether I shall ever again in my life experience such great longing for God. There have been times when I fell into a swoon for Him. Oh, how ugly the earth when one knows heaven! I must do violence to myself in order to live. O will of God, you are my nourishment.
900 Oh, how3 drab and full of misunderstandings is this life! My patience is exercised, and after it comes experience. I understand and learn many things each day and see that I know very little, and I am constantly discovering faults in my conduct. Still, I am not discouraged by this, but thank God that He deigns to grant me His light that I may know myself.
901 + There is a certain person [Stanislava Kwietniewska163] who tests my patience. I must devote much time to her. When I talk with her, I feel that she is lying, and this, continually. And because she tells me about things far away which I cannot verify, she is able to get away with the lie. But I am inwardly convinced that there is no (264) truth in what she says. When it occurred to me once that I might be mistaken and that she might be telling the truth, I asked the Lord Jesus to give me the following sign: if she is really lying, let her admit to me herself that she has lied about any one of the things concerning which I am inwardly convinced that she is lying. And if she is telling the truth, let the Lord Jesus take this conviction away from me. A little later, she came to me again and said, “Sister, I beg your forgiveness, but I have lied about such and such a thing,” and I understood that the inner light concerning that person had not misled me.
902 January 29, 1937. I overslept today. A little longer, and I would have been too late for Holy Communion because the chapel is a good distance from our section.164 When I went outdoors, the snow was knee-deep. But before it occurred to me that the doctor would not have allowed me to go out in such snow, I had already come (265) to the Lord in the chapel. I received Holy Communion and was back in no time. I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, rest close to My Heart. Known to Me are your efforts. My soul is more joyful when I am close to the Heart of my God.
January 30, 1937. One-day retreat.
903 I am coming to know God‟s greatness more and more and to rejoice in Him. I remain unceasingly with Him in the depths of my heart. It is in my own soul that I most easily find God.
904 During my meditation, I heard these words: My daughter, you give Me most glory by patiently submitting to My will, and you win for yourself greater merit than that which any fast or mortification could ever gain for you. Know, My daughter, that if you submit your will to Mine, you draw upon yourself My special delight. This sacrifice is pleasing to Me and full of sweetness. I take great pleasure in it; there is power in it.
905 (266) + Examination of conscience: continuation of the same, to unite myself to the Merciful Christ. Practice: interior silence; that is, strict observance of silence.
906 + In difficult moments, I will fix my gaze upon the silent Heart of Jesus, stretched upon the Cross, and from the exploding flames of His merciful Heart, will flow down upon me power and strength to keep fighting.
907 An extraordinary thing, [that] in winter a canary comes to my window and sings beautifully for a while. I have tried to check whether there is a canary in a cage somewhere around, but there is none anywhere, not even in the neighboring ward. One of the other patients also heard it, but only once, and wondered how a canary could be singing in this freezing season of the year.
908 + O Jesus, how sorry I feel for poor sinners. Jesus, grant them contrition and repentance. Remember Your own sorrowful Passion. I know Your infinite mercy and cannot bear it that a soul that has cost You so much should perish. Jesus, give me the souls (267) of sinners; let Your mercy rest upon them. Take everything away from me, but give me souls. I want to become a sacrificial host for sinners. Let the shell of my body conceal my offering, for Your Most Sacred Heart is also hidden in a Host, and certainly You are a living sacrifice.
Transform me into Yourself, O Jesus, that I may be a living sacrifice and pleasing to You. I desire to atone at each moment for poor sinners. The sacrifice of my spirit is hidden under the veil of the body; the human eye does not perceive it, and for that reason it is pure and pleasing to You. O my Creator and Father of great mercy, I trust in You, for You are Goodness Itself. Souls, do not be afraid of God, but trust in Him, for He is good, and His mercy is everlasting. 225
909 + We know each other mutually, O lord, in the dwelling of my heart. Yes, now it is I who am receiving You as a Guest in the little home of my heart, but the time is coming when You will call me to Your dwelling place, which You have prepared for me from the beginning of the world. Oh, what am I compared to You, O Lord?
910 (268) The Lord is leading me into a world unknown to me. He makes known to me His great grace, but I am afraid of it and will not submit to its influence in so far as it may be in my power, until I am assured by my spiritual director as to what thin grace is.
911 On one occasion, God‟s presence pervaded my whole being, and my mind was mysteriously enlightened in respect to His Essence. He allowed me to understand His interior life. In spirit, I saw the Three Divine Persons, but Their Essence was One. He is One, and One only, but in Three Persons; none of Them is either greater or smaller; there is no difference in either beauty or sanctity, for They are One. They are absolutely One. His Love transported me into this knowledge and united me with Himself. When I was united to One, I was equally united to the Second and to the Third in such a way that when we are united with One, by that very fact, we are equally united to the two Persons in the same way as with the One. Their will is One, one God, though in Three Persons. When One of the Three Persons communicates with a soul, (269) by the power of that one will, it finds itself united with the Three Persons and is inundated in the happiness flowing from the Most Holy Trinity, the same happiness that nourishes the saints. This same happiness that streams from the Most Holy Trinity makes all creation happy; from it springs that life which vivifies and bestows all life which takes its beginning from Him. In these moments, my soul experienced such great divine delights that I find this difficult to express.
912 Then I heard the following words spoken thus: I want you to be My spouse. Fear pierced my soul, but I calmly continued to reflect on what sort of an espousal this could be. However, each time fear would invade my soul, a power from on high would give it peace.
After all, I have taken perpetual vows, and I have taken them of my own completely free will. And so I continued to reflect on what this could mean. I sensed, and came to realize, that this was some special kind of grace. Whenever I think about it, I feel faint for God, but in this swooning, my mind is clear and penetrated with light. When I am united (270) to Him, I faint from an abundance of happiness, but my mind is bright and clear and free from all shadows. You abase Your majesty to dwell with a poor creature. Thank you, O Lord, for this great grace that makes it possible for me to commune with You. Jesus, Your Name is my delight, I have a presentiment of my Beloved from afar, and my languishing soul rests in His embrace; I don‟t know how to live without Him. I would rather be with Him in afflictions and suffering than without Him in the greatest heavenly delights.
913 February 2, 1937. Today, from early morning, divine absorption penetrates my soul. During Mass, I thought I would see the little Jesus, as I often do; however, today during Holy Mass I saw the Crucified Jesus. Jesus was nailed to the cross and was in great agony. His suffering pierced me, soul and body, in a manner which was invisible, but nevertheless most painful.
914 Oh, what awesome mysteries take place during Mass! A great mystery is accomplished in the Holy Mass. (271) With what great devotion should we listen to and take part in this death of Jesus. One day we will know what God is doing for us in each Mass, and what sort of gift He is preparing in it for us. Only His divine love could permit that such a gift be provided for us. O Jesus, my Jesus, with what great pain is my soul pierced when I see this fountain of life gushing forth with such sweetness and power for each soul, while at the same time I see souls withering away and drying up through their own fault. O Jesus, grant that the power of mercy embrace these souls.
915 + O Mary, today a terrible sword has pierced Your holy soul. Except for God, no one knows of Yours suffering. Your soul does not break; it is brave, because it is with Jesus. Sweet Mother, unite my soul to Jesus, because it is only then that I will be able to endure all trials and tribulations, and only in union with Jesus will my little sacrifices be pleasing to God. Sweetest Mother, continue to teach me about the interior life. May the sword of suffering never break me. O pure Virgin, pour courage into my heart and guard it.
916 (272) This day is so special for me; even th0ugh I encountered so many sufferings, my soul is overflowing with great joy. In a private room next to mine, there was a Jewish woman who was seriously ill. I went to see her three days ago and was deeply pained at the thought that she would soon die without having her soul cleansed by the grace of Baptism. I had an understanding with her nurse, a [religious] Sister, that when her last moment would be approaching, she would baptize her. There was this difficulty however, that there were always some Jewish people with her. However, I felt inspired to pray before the image which Jesus had instructed me to have painted. I have a leaflet with the Image of the divine Mercy on the cover. And I said to the Lord, “Jesus, You Yourself told me that You would grant many graces through this image. I ask You, then, for the grace of Holy Baptism for this Jewish lady. It makes no difference who will baptize her, as long as she is baptized.”
After these words, I felt strangely at peace, and I was quite sure that, despite the difficulties, the waters of Holy Baptism would be poured upon her soul. That night, (273) when she was very low, I got out of bed three times to see her, watching for the right moment to give her this grace. The next morning, she seemed to feel a little better. In the afternoon her last moment began to approach. The Sister who was her nurse said that Baptism would be difficult because they were with her. The moment came when the sick woman began to lose consciousness, and as a result, in order to save her, they began to run about; some [went] to fetch the doctor, while others went off in other directions to find help.
And so the patient was left alone, and Sister baptized her, and before they had all rushed back, her soul was beautiful, adorned with God‟s grace. Her final agony began immediately, but it did not last long. It was as if she fell asleep. All of a sudden, I saw her soul ascending to heaven in wondrous beauty. Oh, how beautiful is a soul with sanctifying grace! Joy flooded my heart that before this image I had received so great a grace for this soul.
917 Oh, how great is God‟s mercy; let every soul praise it. O my Jesus, that soul for all eternity will be singing You a hymn of mercy. (274) I shall not forget the impression this day has made on my soul. This is the second great grace which I have received here for souls before this image.
Oh, how good the Lord is, and how full of compassion; Jesus, how heartily I thank You for these graces.
918 February 5, 1937. My Jesus, in spite of everything, I desire very much to unite myself to You. Jesus, if this be possible, takes me to Yourself, for it seems to me that my heart will burst of longing for You!
Oh, how very much I feel that I am in exile! When will I find myself in the house of our Father, delighting in the happiness that streams from the Most Holy Trinity? But, if it is Your will that I still go on living and suffering, then I desire what You have destined for me. Keep me here on earth for as long as You wish, even though this be until the end of the world. O will of my Lord, be my delight and the rapture of my soul. Although the earth is so filled with people, I feel all alone, and the earth is a terrible desert to me. O Jesus, Jesus, You know and understand the fervors of my heart; You, O Lord, alone can fill me.
919 (275) + Today, when I warned a certain young lady that she should not be standing for hours in the corridor with the men, because it was unbecoming for a well-bred young lady to do so, she apologized and promised to correct herself. She began to cry when she became aware of her thoughtlessness. As I was saying these few things to her concerning moral behavior, all the men from the ward came over and listened to my words of advice. The Jewish people even heard a few things about themselves. A certain person told me afterwards that they put their ears against the wall and listened attentively. I somehow felt they were listening, but I said what I had to say. The walls are so thin here that one can be heard, even when speaking in a low voice.
920 +There is a woman here165 who was once one of our students. Naturally, she puts my patience to the test. She comes to see me several times a day. After each of these visits I am tired out, but I see that the Lord Jesus has sent that soul to me. Let everything glorify You, O Lord. Patience gives glory to God. O how poor the souls are!
921 (276) February 6, . Today, the Lord said to me, My daughter, I am told that there is much simplicity in you, so why do you not tell Me about everything that concerns you, even the smallest details? Tell Me about everything, and know that this will give Me great joy. I answered, “But You know about everything, Lord.” And Jesus replied to me, Yes, I do know; but you should not excuse yourself with the fact that I know, but with childlike simplicity talk to Me about everything, for My ears and heart are inclined towards you, and your words are dear to Me.
922 + When I began this big novena for three intentions, I saw a tiny insect on the ground and thought: how did it get here in the middle of winter: Then I heard the following words in my soul: You see, I am thinking of it and sustaining it, and what is it compared to you? Why was your soul fearful for a moment? I apologized to the Lord for that moment. Jesus wants me to always be a child and to leave all care to Him, and to submit blindly to His holy will. He took everything upon Himself.
923 (277) February 7, . Today, the Lord said to me, I demand of you a perfect and whole-burnt offering; and offering of the will. No other sacrifice can compare with this one. I Myself am directing your life and arranging things in such a way that you will be for Me a continual sacrifice and will always do My will. And for the
accomplishment of this offering, you will unite yourself with Me on the Cross. I know what you can do. I Myself will give you many orders directly, but I will delay the possibility of their being carried out and make it depend on others. But what the superiors will not manage to do, I Myself will accomplish directly in your soul. And in the most hidden depths of your soul, a perfect holocaust will be carried out, not just for a while, but know, My daughter, that this offering will last until your death. But there is time, so that I the Lord will fulfill all your wishes. I delight in you as in a living host; let nothing terrify you; I am with you.
924 Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of self, and it will support the souls (278) who are dying. Such is God‟s will, and that is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.
925 February 7, 1937. Today, I prayed more fervently than ever for the Holy Father [Pius XI] and three priests166 that God would inspire them as to what He is asking of me, for the realization of this depends on them. Oh, how happy I am that the Holy Father‟s health is improving. Today I heard him addressing the Eucharistic Congress,167 and I went there in spirit to receive the Apostolic Blessing.
926 February 9, . Shrove Tuesday. During the last two days of the carnival, I experienced the overwhelming flood of chastisements and sins. In one instant the Lord gave me a knowledge of the sins committed throughout the whole world during these days. I fainted from fright, and even though I know the depth of God‟s mercy, I was surprised that God allows humanity to exist. And the Lord gave me to know who it is that
upholds the existence of mankind: it is the chosen souls. When the number of the chosen ones is complete, the world will cease to exist.
927 On these two days, I received Holy Communion (279) as an act of reparation, and I said to the Lord, “Jesus, I offer everything today for sinners. Let the blows of Your justice fall on me, and the sea of Your mercy engulfs the poor sinners.” And the Lord hears my prayer: many souls returned to the Lord, but I was in agony under the yoke of God‟s justice. I felt I was the object of the anger of the Most High God. By evening my sufferings had reached such a stage of interior desolation that moans welled up involuntarily from my breast. I locked the door of my room and began an adoration; that is to say, a Holy Hour. Interior desolation and an experience of God‟s justice – that was my prayer; and the moans and pain that welled up from my soul took the place of a sweet conversation with the Lord.
928 Then suddenly, I saw the Lord, who clasped to me to His Heart and said to me, My daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your tears. I gill grant you everything you ask for, but stop crying. And I was filled with great (280) joy, and my spirit, as usual, was drowned in Him as in its only treasure. Today, encouraged by His kindness, I conversed with Jesus at greater length.
929 When I had rested near His sweetest Heart, I told Him, “Jesus, I have so much to tell You.” And the Lord said to me with great love, Speak, My daughter. And I started to enumerate the pains of my heart; that is, how greatly concerned I am for all mankind, that
“they all do not know You, and those who do know You do not love You as You deserve to be loved. I also see how terribly sinners offend You; and then again, I see how severely the faithful, especially Your servants, are oppressed and persecuted. And then, too, I see many souls rushing headlong into the terrible abyss of hell. You see, Jesus, this is the pain that gnaws at my heart and bones. And, although You show me special love and inundate my heart with streams of Your joys, nevertheless, this does not appease the sufferings I have just mentioned, but rather they penetrate my poor heart (281) all the more acutely. Oh, how ardently I desire that all mankind turn with trust to Your mercy. Then, seeing the glory of Your name, my heart will be comforted.”
Jesus listened to these outpourings of my heart with gravity and interest, as if He had known nothing about them, and this seemed to make it easier for me to talk. And the Lord said to me, My daughter, those words of your heart are pleasing to Me, and by saying the chaplet you are bringing humankind closer to Me. After these words, I found myself alone, but the presence of God is always in my soul.
930 + O my Jesus, although I will go to You, and You will fill me with Yourself, and that will make my happiness complete. I will nevertheless not forget about humanity. I desire to draw aside the veils of heaven, so that the earth would have no doubts about The Divine Mercy. My repose is in proclaiming Your mercy. The soul gives the greatest glory to its Creator when it turns with trust to The Divine Mercy.
931 (282) February 10, . Today is Ash Wednesday.
During Holy Mass, I felt for a short time the Passion of Jesus in my members. Lent is a very special time for the work of priests. We should assist them in rescuing souls.
932 A few days ago, I wrote to my director [probably Father Andrasz168], asking permission for some little mortifications during Lent. As I did not have the doctor‟s permission to go to town, I had to do this by letter. But Ash Wednesday is already here, and I still have no answer. This morning after Holy Communion, I asked Jesus to inspire my director with His light so that he would answer me, and I knew in my soul that Father was not against my practicing these mortifications for which I had asked permission, and that he would give his permission. So, in peace, I began to undertake these practices. That same afternoon I received a letter from Father, saying that he readily gives me permission to undertake those practices for which I had asked (283) permission. I was very pleased that my interior knowledge was in agreement with my spiritual Father‟s opinion.
933 Then I heard the following words in my soul: You will receive a greater reward for your obedience and subjection to your confessor than you will for the practices which you will be carrying out. Know this, My daughter, and act accordingly: anything, no matter how small it be, that has the seal of obedience to My representative is pleasing to Me and great in My eyes.
934 Small practices for Lent. Although I wish and desire to do so, I cannot practice big mortifications as before, because I am under the strict surveillance of the doctor. But I can practice little things: first – sleep without a pillow; keep myself a little hungry; every day, with my arms outstretched, say the chaplet which the Lord taught me; occasionally, with arms outstretched, for an indefinite period of time (284) pray informally. Intention: to
beg divine mercy for poor sinners, and for priests, the power to bring sinful hearts to repentance.
935 My contact with the dying is, just as it has been in the past, very close. I often accompany a person who is dying far away, but my greatest joy is when I see the promise of mercy fulfilled in these souls. The Lord is faithful; what He once ordains – He fulfills.
936 + A certain person in our ward was beginning to die. Amidst terrible tortures, she was dying for three days, sometimes regaining consciousness. Everyone in the ward was praying for her. I longed to go to her, but Mother Superior had forbidden me to go to visit the dying, so I prayed for that poor soul in my room. But when I heard the she was still in agony, and thee was no saying how long it was going to take, I suddenly felt inspired in my soul and said to the Lord, “Jesus, if all I do is pleasing to You, (285) I ask You, as evidence, to let that soul stop suffering and pass on immediately to her happy eternity.” A few minutes later I learned that the person had passed away so peacefully and quickly that they did not even have time to light the candle.
937 + I will say a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko169]. It is strange that there are so few priests who know how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can make constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids the smallest faults. And from these e efforts, as with little stones, there rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. (286) On the contrary, if the soul notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects them and ceases to vive an account of them to the confessor and, worse still, will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation only when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame should be put on the imprudent director; the soul‟s only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice of a director. The director could well have led the soul along the road of God‟s will to sanctity.
938 The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it. What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to (287) to help a soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus Himself. And when the soul considers and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had prayed fervently and at a great length in order to learn God‟s will that he leave this director and choose another. If God‟s will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because the, without doubt, he will never attain it.
939 There is an exception [to this], and that is when God Himself directs the person, but the director (288) will immediately recognize that the person in question is being guided by God Himself. God will allow him to know this clearly and distinctly, and such a person should be even more under the director‟s control than anyone else. In this case, the director does not so much guide and point out the road along which the soul is to journey; but rather, he judges and confirms that the soul is following the right path and is being led by a good spirit.
In this situation, the director should be not only holy, but also experienced and prudent, and the soul should give priority to his opinion over that of God Himself, for then the soul will be safe from illusions and deviations. A soul that will not fully submit its inspirations to the strict control of the Church; that is, to the director, clearly shows by this that a bad spirit is guiding it. The director should be extremely prudent in such cases and test the soul‟s obedience. Satan can even clothe himself in a cloak of humility, but he does not know how to ear the cloak of obedience (289) and thus his evil designs will be disclosed. But the director should not be overly afraid of such a soul, because if God puts that special soul in his care, He will also give him great divine light regarding it, for otherwise how could he deal wisely with the great mysteries which take place between the soul and God.
940 I myself suffered a great deal and was much tried in this respect. Therefore, I am writing only about what I myself have experienced. It was only after many novenas, prayers and penances that God sent me a priest who understood my soul. Oh, there would be many more saintly souls if there were more experienced and saintly confessors. Many a soul, earnestly striving for sanctity, cannot manage by itself during times of trial and abandons the road to perfection.
941 O Jesus, give us fervent and holy priest! Oh, how great is the dignity of the priest, but at the same time, how great is his responsibility! Much has been given you, O priest, but much will also be demanded of you………
942 (290) February 11, . Today is Friday. During Mass, I suffered pain in my body: in my hands, my feet and my side. Jesus is sending me this kind of suffering that I may make reparation for sinners. The pain is brief, but very severe. I do not suffer for more than a couple of minutes, but the impression remains for along time and is very vivid.
943 + Today, I feel such desolation in my soul that I do not know how to explain it even to myself. I would like to hide from people and cry endlessly. No one understands a heart wounded by love, and when such a heart feels itself abandoned interiorly, no one can comfort it. O souls of sinners, you have taken the Lord away from me, but all right, all right; you get to know how sweet the Lord is, and let the whole sea of bitterness flood my heart. I have given all my divine comforts to you.
944 + There are moments when I mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and wretchedness in the most profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed that I can endure such moments only by trusting in the infinite mercy (291) of God. Patience, prayer and silence – these are what give strength to the soul. There are moments when one should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to talk with creatures; these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with oneself, and when the soul feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul clings to God with all its might. At such times, I live solely by
faith, and when I feel strengthened by God‟s grace, then I am more courageous in speaking and communicating with my neighbors.
945 In the evening, the Lord said to me, My child, rest on My Heart; I see that you have worked hard in my vineyard. And my soul was flooded with divine joy.
946 February 12, . Today, the presence of God is piercing me through and through, like a ray from the sun. My soul is longing for God so intensely that I fall into a swoon every now and then. I feel Eternal Love touching my heart, and my littleness cannot bear it, (292) and this causes me to swoon. Still, my interior strength is great, and my soul wants to match the Love with which it is loved. The soul at such moments has a very deep knowledge of God, and the more it comes to know Him, the purer and more fervent does its love for Him become. How unfathomable are the mysteries of the soul and God!
947 Sometimes there are whole hours when my soul is lost in wonder at seeing the infinite majesty of God abasing Itself to the level of my soul. Unending is my interior astonishment that the Most High Lord is pleased in me and tells me so Himself. And I immerse myself even deeper in my nothingness, because I know what I am of myself. Still I must say that I, in return, love my Creator to folly with every beat of my hart and with every nerve; my soul unconsciously drowns, drowns…..in Him. I feel that nothing will separate me from the Lord, neither heaven nor earth, neither the present nor the future. Everything may change, but love never, never; it is always the same. (293) He, the Immortal Mighty One, makes His will known to me that I may love Him very specially, and He Himself makes my soul capable of the kind of love with which He wants me to love Him. I bury myself more and more in Him, and I fear nothing.
Love has overtaken my whole heart, and even if I were to be told of God‟s justice and of how even the pure spirits tremble and cover their faces before Him, saying endlessly, “Holy,” which would seem to suggest that my familiarity with God would be to the detriment of His honor and majesty, [I would reply,] “O no, no, and once again, no!” In pure love, there is room for everything: the highest praise and the deepest adoration, yet the soul is immersed in Him in deepest peace through love; and the words of people, speaking from the exterior, have no effect upon that soul. What they tell the soul about God is but a pale shadow in comparison to its own experience of Him; and it is often surprised how other people can be struck with admiration at what someone else says about God when, for this soul, it is nothing special, as it knows that what can be put into words (294) is not yet that great. So this soul listens to everything with respect, but has its own special life in God.
948 February 13, . Today, during the Passion Service,170 I saw Jesus being tortured and crowned with thorns and holding a reed in His hand. Jesus was silent as the soldiers were bustling about, vying with each other in torturing Him. Jesus said nothing, but just looked at me, and in that gaze I felt His pain, so terrible that we have not the faintest idea of how much He suffered for us before He was crucified. My soul was filled with pain and longing; in my soul, I felt great hatred for sin, and even the smallest infidelity on my part seemed to me like a huge mountain for which I must expiate my mortification and penance. When I see Jesus tormented, my heart is torn to pieces, and I think: what will become of sinners if they do not take advantage of the Passion of Jesus: In His Passion, I see a whole sea of mercy.
(295) J.M.J. February 12, 1937
+ The Love of God is the flower – Mercy is the fruit.
949 Let the doubting soul read these considerations on Divine Mercy and become trusting.171
Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, fount gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed Trinity, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I trust in You.
(296) Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for sinners, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the founding of Holy Church, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, crown of all of God‟s handiwork, I trust in You.
(297) Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You.
950 + Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.
951 + O incomprehensible and limitless Mercy Divine, To extol and adore You worthily, who can?
Supreme attribute of Almighty God,
You are the sweet hope for sinful man.
Into one hymn yourselves unite, stars, earth and sea, and in one accord, thankfully and fervently sing of the incomprehensible Divine Mercy.
952 (298) My Jesus, You see that Your holy will is everything to me. It makes no difference to me what You do with me. You command me to set to work – and I begin calmly, although I know that I am incapable of it; through Your representatives, You order me to wait – so I wait patiently; You fill my soul with enthusiasm – but You do not make it possible for me to act; You attract me to Yourself in heaven – and You leave me in this world; You pour into my soul a great yearning for Yourself – and You hide Yourself from me. I am dying of the desire to be united with You forever, and You do not let death come near me. O will of God, you are the nourishment and delight of my soul. When I submit to the holy will of my God, a deep peace floods my soul. O my Jesus, You do not give a reward for the successful performance of a work, but for the good will and the labor undertaken. Therefore, I am completely at peace, even if all my undertakings and efforts should be thwarted or should come to naught. If I do (299) all that is in my power, the rest is not my business. And therefore the greatest storms do not disturb the depths of my peace; the will of God dwells in my conscience.
953 + February 15, 1937. Today my suffering increased somewhat: I not only feel greater pain all through my lungs, but also some strange pains in my intestines, I am suffering as much as my weak nature can bear, all for immortal souls, to plead the mercy of God for poor sinners and to beg for strength for priests. Oh, how much reverence I have for priests; and I am asking Jesus, the High Priest, to grant them many graces.
954 Today after Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you submit yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw upon yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special delight in you if you were not living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You know (300) that I am weakness itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You, be with me at each instant.
955 February 15, 1937. Today, I heard these words in my soul: Host pleasing to My Father, know, My daughter, that the entire Holy Trinity finds Its special delight in you, because you live exclusively by the will of God. No sacrifice can compare with this.
956 + After these words, the knowledge of God‟s will came to me; that is to say, I now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly Father‟s special affection.
957 The pure offering of my will will burn on the altar of love. That my sacrifice may be perfect, I untied myself closely with the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. When great sufferings will cause my nature to tremble, and my physical and spiritual strength will diminish, then will I hide myself deep in the open wound of the Heart (301) of Jesus, silent
as a dove, without complaint. Let all my desires, even the holiest, noblest and most beautiful, take always the last place and Your holy will, the very first. The least of Your desires, O Lord, is more precious to me than heaven, with all its treasures. I know very well that people will not understand me; that is why my sacrifice will be purer in Your eyes.
958 Some days ago, a certain person came to me and asked me to pray for her intention, as she had some urgent and important business. All of a sudden, I felt in my soul that this matter was not pleasing to God, and I replied that I would not pray for this intention, “but I will pray for you, in general” [I added]. A few days later, this lady came back to me and thanked me for not having prayed for her intention, but rather for her, because she had been motivated by a spirit of revenge toward a certain person to whom she owed respect and veneration in virtue (302) of the fourth commandment. The Lord Jesus had changed her interior [dispositions], and she herself acknowledged her guilt; but was, however, surprised that I had penetrated her secret.
959 + Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko, who sent me greetings for my feast day [February 15]. His greetings gave me joy, but his poor health made me sad. I had known about this by interior intuition, but had not quite believed it. But it seems to me that if he himself wrote that this was so, then the other things about which he did not write are also true, and my interior knowledge has not deceived me. He requested me to underline all that I know does not come from me; that is to say, all that Jesus tells me which I hear in my soul.172 He has already asked me to do this several times, but I did not have the time and, to tell the truth, I was in no hurry to do so. But how does he know that I have not done this? I was very surprised; but now I am setting about this work with all my heart. O my Jesus, Your representative‟s will is clearly Your holy will, without a shadow of a doubt.
960 (303) February 16, 1937. Today I entered a neighboring room by mistake and so, for a while, I talked with the person who was there. When I returned to my own room I thought about that person for a few moments. Then suddenly, Jesus stood by my side and said. My daughter, what are you thinking about right now? Without thinking, I snuggled close to His heart, because I realized that I had been thinking too much about creatures.
961 + This morning after completing my spiritual exercises, I began at once to crochet. I sensed a stillness in my heart; I sensed that Jesus was resting in it. That deep and sweet consciousness of God‟s presence prompted me to say to the Lord, “O Most Holy Trinity dwelling in my heart, I beg You: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the [number of] stitches that I will make today with this crochet hook.” Then I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, too great are your demands, “Jesus, You know that for You it is easier to grant much rather than a little.” That is so, it is less difficult for Me to grant a soul much rather than a little, but every conversion of a sinful soul demands sacrifice. “Well, Jesus, I offer You (304) this whole-hearted work of mine; this offering does not seem to me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work. And since holy obedience forbids me to perform great penances and mortifications, therefore I ask You, Lord; accept these mere nothings stamped with the seal of obedience as great things.” Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request.
962 + I often see a certain person dear to God. The Lord has great love for him, not only because he is striving to spread the veneration of God‟s mercy, but also because of the
love he has for the Lord God, although he does not always feel this love in his own heart and is almost always in Gethsemane. However, this person is always pleasing to God, and his great patience will overcome all difficulties.
963 + Oh, if only the suffering soul knew how it is loved by God, it would die of joy and excess of happiness! Some day, we will know the value of suffering, but then we will no longer be able to suffer. The present moment is ours.
964 (305) February 17, 1937. This morning during Holy Mass, I saw the Suffering Jesus. His Passion was imprinted on my body in an invisible manner, but no less painfully.
965 Jesus looked at me and said, Souls perish in spite of My bitter Passion. I am giving them the last hope of salvation; that is, the Feast of My Mercy255. If they will not adore My mercy, they will perish for all eternity. Secretary of My mercy, write, tell souls about this great mercy of Mine, because the awful day, the day of My justice, is near.
966 + Today, I heard in my soul these words: My daughter, it is time for you take action; I am with you. Great persecutions and sufferings are in store for you, but be comforted by the thought that many souls will be saved and sanctified by this work.
967 + When I set to work at underlining the Lord‟s words and thus was going through everything in sequence, I reached the page where I had marked down Father Andrasz‟s advice and directions. I did not know what to do, to underline or not to underline, and then I heard these words in my soul: Underline, because these words are Mine; I have borrowed the lips (306) of the friend of My Heart in order to speak to you and reassure you. You are to observe these directions until your death. It would not please Me at all if you were to disobey these directions. Know that it is I who have placed him between Myself and your soul. I am doing this to set you at peace and so that you may not err.
968 Since I have placed you in this priest‟s special care, you are thus exempted from giving a detailed account to your superiors concerning My relationship with you. In all other matters, be as a child with your superiors, but whatever I do in the depths of your soul is to be told, with all frankness, only to the priests.
And I have noticed that, from the time God gave me a spiritual director, He has not required me to report everything to the superiors, as was the case before, but only that which concerns external matters: apart from this, only the director knows my soul. To have a spiritual director is a special grace of God. Oh, how few have received it! The soul remains in constant peace amidst the greatest difficulties. Every day after Holy Communion, I thank the Lord Jesus for this grace, and every (307) day I ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten him. I have truly experienced in my soul what power the director‟s words have. Blessed by God‟s mercy for this grace!
969 + Today, I went to meditate before the Blessed Sacrament [in the sanatorium chapel]. When I approached the altar, God‟s presence pervaded my soul, I was plunged into the ocean of His divinity, and Jesus said to me, My daughter, all that exists is yours. I answered the Lord, „My heart wants nothing but You alone. O Treasure of my heart. For
all the gifts You give me, thank you, O Lord, but I desire only Your Heart. Though the heavens are immense, they are nothing to me without You. You know very well, O Jesus, that I am constantly swooning because of my longing for You.” Know this, My daughter, that you are already tasting now what other souls will obtain only in eternity.
970 And all of a sudden, my soul was flooded with the light of the knowledge of God. Oh, would that I could express even a little of what my soul experiences when resting near the Heart of the incomprehensible (308) Majesty! I cannot put it into words. Only a soul who has experienced such a grace at least once in his life, will recognize it. When I returned to my room, it seemed to me that I was coming from real life to death. When the doctor came to take my pulse, he was surprised: “Sister, what happened? You have never had a pulse like this! I would like to know what has speeded it up so much.” What could I tell him, when I myself did not know that my pulse was so rapid. In only know that I am dying of yearning for God, but this I did not tell him, for how can medicine help in this instance?
971 February 19, 1937. Contact with the dying. They ask me for prayer, and I can pray, as the Lord grants me an extraordinary spirit of prayer. I am constantly united with Him, and I am fully aware that I live for souls in order to bring them to Your mercy, O Lord. In this matter, no sacrifice is too insignificant.
972 (309) Today, the doctor decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God‟s will, even though I did want to be back in the company of my sisters.
973 I learned today about the death of one of our sisters173 who died in Plock, but she visited me even before they told me about her death.
974 February 22, 1937. Today, there began in our chapel a retreat for the hospital attendants, although anyone who wishes may take part in it. There is one conference a day. Father Bonaventure174 speaks for a whole hour, and he speaks directly to souls. I took part in this retreat, as I very much desire to know God more deeply and to love Him more ardently, for I have understood that the greater the knowledge, the stronger the love.
975 Today I heard these words: Pray for souls that they be not afraid to approach the tribunal of My mercy. Do not grow weary of praying for sinners. You know what a burden their souls are to My Heart. Relieve My deathly sorrow; dispense My mercy.
976 (310) February 24, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I saw the dying Jesus. The sufferings of the Lord pierced my soul and body in an invisible manner. The pain is enormous, though it lasts a very short time.
977 During the singing of the Lenten Lamentations, I am so taken up with His Passion that I cannot withhold my tears. I would like to hide somewhere in order to give myself freely to the sorrow which flows from the consideration of His Passion.
978 When I was praying for the intention of Father Andrasz, I learned how very pleasing he is to God. Since then, I have had even greater respect for him, as for a saint. This has given me great joy, and I thank God fervently for it.
979 Today at Benediction, I saw Jesus, and He spoke these words to me: Be obedient to your director in everything; his word is My will. Be certain in the depths of your
soul that it is I who am speaking through his lips, and I desire that you reveal the state of your soul to him with the same simplicity (311) and candor as you have with Me. I say it again, my daughter: know that his word is My will for you.
980 Today, I saw the Lord in great beauty, and he said to me, My loving host, pray for priests, especially during this time of harvest. My Heart is pleased with you, and for your sake I am blessing the earth.
981 I understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have undergone in submission to God‟s will in order to know it better have advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth That is to say, I am bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the Superior as God Himself. And on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner torture is so great that no one (312) will either understand or imagine these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up my life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not even going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what it is like to know God‟s will directly and at the same time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has given me a director; otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.
982 + I recently received a lovely letter from my dear seventeen-year old sister [Wanda175]. She is begging and entreating me to help her enter the convent. She is ready for any sacrifices for God. I can tell from her letter that the Lord Himself is guiding her, and I rejoice in God‟s great mercy.
983 + Today, the Majesty of God enveloped and transpierced my soul to its very depths. The greatness of God is pervading my being and flooding me so that I am completely drowning in His greatness. I am dissolving and disappearing entirely in Him as in my life-source, as in perfect life.
984 (313) My Jesus, I understand well that my perfection consists not in the fact that You command me to carry out these great works of Yours – Oh no! – the soul‟s greatness does not consist in this, but in great love for You. O Jesus, in the depths of my soul I understand that the greatest achievements cannot compare with one act of pure love for You. I desire to be faithful to You and to do Your bidding. I am making use of my strength and my reason to carry out all You are asking of me, O Lord, but I have not the least shadow of attachment to all this. I do it all because such is Your will. All my love is drowned, not in Your works, but in You Yourself, O my Creator and Lord!
985 February 25, 1937. I prayed earnestly for a happy death on behalf of a certain soul who was suffering much. For two weeks, she had remained between life and death. I was touched with pity for her and said to the lord, “Sweet Jesus, if the works I am undertaking for Your glory are pleasing to You, then please take her to Yourself (314) and let her rest in Your mercy.” I was strangely reassured; and, after a short while, they came to tell me that the person who had been suffering so much had just died.
986 I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] in need and prayed for him until Jesus looked upon him with kindness and granted him His strength.
987 Today, I came to know that a member of my family is offending God and is in great peril of death. This knowledge pierced my soul with such great pain that I thought I would not survive that offense against God. Begged God‟s pardon, but I saw His great anger.
988 I was praying for a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko], asking God to help him in certain matters when I suddenly saw Jesus Crucified. His eyes were closed, and He was immersed in torture. I worshipped His five wounds, each one separately, and asked His blessing for him. Jesus gave me to know interiorly how dear that soul was to Him, (315) and I felt that grace was flowing from Jesus‟ wounds upon that soul who, like Jesus, is also stretched upon the cross.
989 My Lord and my God, You know2 that it is You alone whom my soul has come to love. My soul is entirely drowned in You, O Lord. Even if I did not accomplish any of the things that You have made known to me, O Lord, I would be completely at peace because I would have done what I could.
990 I know well, O Lord, that You have no need of our works; You demand Love, love and once again, love of God – there is nothing greater in heaven or on earth. The greatest greatness is to love God; true greatness is in loving God; real wisdom is to love God. All that is great and beautiful is in God; there is no beauty or greatness outside of Him. O you sages of the world and you great minds, recognize that true greatness is in loving God! Oh, how astonished I am that some people deceive themselves, saying: There is no eternity!
991 (316) February 26, 1937. Today, I saw how the Holy Mysteries were being celebrated without liturgical vestments and in private homes, because of a passing storm; and I saw the sun come out from the Blessed Sacrament, and all other lights went out, or rather, they were dimmed; and all the people were looking toward this [one] light. But at the present time I do not understand the meaning of this vision.176
992 + I am going forward through life amidst rainbows and storms, but with my head held high with pride, for I am a royal child. I feel that the blood of Jesus is circulating in my veins, and I have put my trust in the great mercy of the Lord.
993 + I asked the Lord to have a certain person come to visit me today so that I could see her one more time, and that would be a sign for me that she was being called to the convent which Jesus is having me establish. And, O wonder, the person in question came, and I tried to form her a bit, spiritually. I began to show her the way of self-denial and sacrifice, which she readily accepted. However, I have placed this whole matter in the hands of the Lord, that He may direct everything according to His good pleasure.
994 (317) Today, when I heard the hymn, “Good night, Holy Head of My Jesus,” on the radio, my spirit was suddenly drowned in God, and divine love flooded my soul; I dwelt for a moment with the heavenly Father.
995 + Although it is not easy to live in constant agony,
To be nailed to the cross of various pains,
Still, I am inflamed with love by loving,
And like a Seraph I love God, though I am but
Oh, great is the soul that, midst suffering,
Stands faithfully by God and does His will
And remains uncomforted midst great rainbows
For God‟s pure love sweetens her fate.
It is no great thing to love God in prosperity
And thank Him when all goes well,
But rather to adore Him midst great adversities
And love Him for His own sake and place one‟s hope in Him.
When the soul is in the shadows of Gethsemane,
All alone in the bitterness of pain,
(318) It ascends towards the heights of Jesus,
And though ever drinking bitterness – it is not sad.
When the soul does the will of the Most High God,
Even amidst constant pain and torments,
Having pressed its lips to the chalice proffered,
It becomes mighty, and nothing will daunt it.
Though tortured, it repeats: Your will be done,
Patiently awaiting the moment of its transfiguration,
For, though in deepest darkness, it hears the voice of Jesus: You are Mine,
And this it will know fully when the veil falls.
996 February 28, 1937. Today, I was undergoing the Passion of Jesus for a longer time, and thus I saw that many souls were in need of prayer. I feel that I am being completely transformed into prayer in order to beg God‟s mercy for every soul. O my Jesus, I am receiving You into my heart as a pledge of mercy for souls.
997 This evening, when I heard the hymn, “Good night, Holy Head of my Jesus,” on the radio, my spirit was suddenly swept away to God‟s mysterious bosom, and I knew (319) in what the greatness of a soul consists and what matters to God: love, love, and once again, love. And I understood how all that exists is saturated with God, and such a love of God inundated my soul that I am at a loss to describe it. Happy the soul that knows how to love unreservedly, for in this lies its greatness.
998 Today, I took part in a one-day retreat. When I was at the last conference,177 the priest was speaking of how much the world needs God‟s mercy, and that this seems to be a special time when people have great need of prayer and God‟s mercy. Then I heard a voice in my soul: These words are for you. Do all you possibly can for this work of My mercy. I desire that My mercy be worshiped, and I am giving mankind the last hope of salvation; that is, recourse to My mercy. My Heart rejoices in this feast. After these words, I understood that nothing can dispense me from the obligation which the Lord demands from me.
999 Last night I was in such pain that I thought it was the end. The doctors could not diagnose what the sickness was. (320) I felt as if my entrails had been torn to shreds,
but after a few hours of such sufferings I am all right. All this is for sinners. Let Your mercy descend upon them, O Lord.
1000 In the terrible desert of life,
O my sweetest Jesus,
Protect souls from disaster,
For You are the Fountain of Mercy.
Let the resplendence of Your rays,
O sweet Commander of our souls,
Let mercy change the world.
And you who have received this grace, serve Jesus.
Steep is the great highway I must travel,
But I fear nothing,
For the pure fount of mercy is flowing for my sake,
And, with it, strength for the humble soul.
I am exhausted and worn out,
But my conscience bears me witness
That I do all for the greater glory of the Lord,
The Lord who is my repose and my heritage.
[End of Notebook Two of the Diary] 242
Sister Faustina of the Blessed
Of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy
I shall Sing the Lord‟s Mercy
1001 Thank You, O Lord, my Master,
That You have transformed me entirely into Yourself,
And accompany me through life‟s toils and labors;
I fear nothing when I have You in my heart. 243
1002 The Lord‟s Supper is laid,
Jesus sits down at table with His Apostles,
His Being all transformed into love,
For such was the Holy Trinity‟s counsel.
With great desire, I desire to eat with you,
Before I suffer death.
About to leave you, love holds Me in your midst.
He sheds His Blood, gives His life, for He loves immensely.
Love hides beneath the appearance of bread,
Departing, He remains with us.
Such self-abasement was not needed,
Yet burning love hid Him under these species.
Over the bread and wine He says these words:
“This is My Blood, this is My Body.”
Although mysterious, these are words of love.
Then He passes the Cup among His disciples.
Jesus grew deeply troubled within
And said, “One of you will betray his Master.”
They fell silent, with a silence as of the tomb,
And John inclined his head on His breast.
The supper is ended.
Let us go to Gethsemane.
Love is satisfied,
And there the traitor is waiting.
1003 O Divine Will, You are my nourishment, You are my delight. Hasten, O Lord, the Feast of Mercy that souls may recognize the fountain of Your goodness.
God and souls.
Sister M. Faustina
Of the Blessed Sacrament
Cracow, March 1, 1937.
1004 O will of the Omnipotent God,
You are my delight,
You are my joy. 244
Whatever the hand of my Lord holds out to me
I will accept with gladness, submission and love.
Your holy will is my repose;
In it is contained all my sanctity,
And all my eternal salvation,
For doing God‟s will is the greatest glory.
The will of God – those are his various wishes
Which my soul carries out without reserve,
Because such are His divine desires,
In those moments when God shares His confidences with me.
Do with me as You will, Lord.
I place no obstacles, I make no reservations.
For You are my whole delight and the love of my soul,
And to You, in turn, I pour out the confidences of my heart.
(3) J.M.J. Cracow, March 1, 1937
+ Third Notebook
1005 Let the glory and praise to The Divine Mercy rise from every creature throughout all ages and times.
1006 + O my Lord and god, You command me to write about the graces You grant me. O my Jesus, were it not for a clear command from my confessors,178 that I am to write down what goes on in my soul, I would not, of my own choice, write a single word. And so, if I do write about myself, it is at the formal command of holy obedience.
1007 + Praise and glory be to You, O Holy Trinity, Eternal God. May the mercy springing from your very bowels protect us from Your just anger. Let the praise of Your incomprehensible mercy resound everywhere. All Your works bear the seal of Your unfathomable mercy, O God.
1008 March 1, 1937. The Lord gave me to know how displeased He is with a talkative soul. I find no rest in such a soul. The constant din tires Me, and in the midst of it the soul cannot discern My voice.
1009 Today I asked the Lord Jesus to let me meet with a certain person, and this would be a sign for me that He is calling her to this convent [which I am to found]. And I did meet her and understood that this soul has a vocation, and I asked the Lord to deign to form her Himself. I have talked to her often about a vocation; the Lord will do the rest.
1010 (4) + March 5, 1937. Today, I experienced the Passion of the Lord Jesus in my own body for a long while. The pain is very great, but all this is for the sake of immortal souls.
1011 Today, the Lord visited me, pressed me to His Heart and said, Rest, My little child, I am always with you.
1012 + March 8, 1937. Today, as I was praying for the intention of Father Andrasz, I suddenly understood how intimately this soul communed with God and how pleasing he was to the lord. It gave me immense joy, because I desire intensely that all souls be united with God as closely as possible.
1013 + During prayer today, my soul was overcome with such a strong desire to begin the work, that I could not restrain my enthusiasm. Oh, how ardently I desire that the souls in this Congregation present themselves before the throne of God and continuously implore His incomprehensible mercy on behalf of the whole world, praising and glorifying this unfathomable mercy of God. A mysterious force is driving me to action.
1014 March 12, 1937. I saw the weariness of a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] for whom the Lord has traced out a hard and difficult road; but the fruits of his work are alive. May God give us many such souls, capable of loving Him in the midst of the greatest torments.
1015 + I felt today how greatly a certain dying soul desired prayers. I prayed until I felt she had died. Oh, dying souls are in such great need of prayer! O Jesus, inspire souls to pray often for the dying.
1016 (5) March 15, 1937. Today, I entered into the bitterness of the Passion of the Lord Jesus. I suffered in a purely spiritual way. I learned how horrible sin was. God gave me to know the whole hideousness of sin. I learned in the depths of my soul how horrible sin was, even the smallest sin, and how much it tormented the soul of Jesus. I would rather suffer a thousand hells than commit even the smallest venial sin.
1017 The Lord said to me, I want to give Myself to souls and to fill them with My love, but few there are who want to accept all the graces My love has intended for them. My grace is not lost; if the soul for whom it was intended does not accept it, another soul takes it.
1018 I frequently feel that certain persons are praying for me. I experience this suddenly in my soul, but I do not always know which person is interceding for me. I also know when some person has trouble because of something that has to do with me; of this too I am inwardly aware, even though the distance [that separates us] is very great.179
1019 March 18, 1937. I have come to know that I have received a certain grace that brings me into great intimacy and communion with the Lord. He gives me to know this by means of an interior light. He allows me to know His greatness and holiness and how graciously He lowers Himself to me. He gives me an exclusive knowledge of His love for me, and of how He is Lord of absolutely all things, and also of how He gives Himself to a soul while suspending all laws of nature. He acts as He wills.
1020 I understand the spiritual espousal of a soul with God, which has no exterior manifestation. It is a purely interior act between the soul and God. This grace has drawn me into the very burning center of God‟s love. I have come to understand His Trinitarian quality and the absolute Oneness of His Being. This grace is different from all other graces. It is so extremely spiritual that my inaccurate description knows not how to express even a shade of it.
1021 (6) + I have such a strong desire to hide myself that I would like to live as though I did not exist. I feel a strange inner urge to hide myself as deeply as possible so as to be known only to the Heart of Jesus. I want to be a quiet little dwelling place for Jesus to rest in. I shall admit nothing that might awaken my Beloved. My concealment gives me a chance to commune constantly and exclusively with my Bridegroom. I commune with creatures in so far as it is pleasing to Him. My heart has come to love the Lord with the full force of love, and I know no other love, because it is from the beginning that my soul has sunk deeply in the Lord as in its only treasure.
1022 + Although outwardly I meet with many sufferings and various adversities, this does not, however, lessen my interior life for a moment nor disturb my inner silence. I do not fear at all being abandoned by creatures because, even if all abandoned me, I would not be alone, for the Lord is with me. And even if the Lord were to hide, love will know how to find Him. For love knows no gates or guards; even the keen-eyed Cherub himself, with his flaming sword, will not stop love; it will work its way through wilderness, and scorching heat, through storm, thunder and darkness, and will reach the source from which it came, and there it will endure forever. All things will come to an end; but love, never.
1023 + Today, I received some oranges. When the sister had left, I thought to myself, “Should I eat the oranges instead of doing penance and mortifying myself during Holy Lent? After all, I am feeling a bit better.” Then I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, you please Me more by eating the oranges out of obedience and love of Me than by fasting and mortifying yourself of your own will. A soul that loves Me very much must, ought to live by My will. I know your heart, and I know that it will not be satisfied by anything but My love alone.
1024 (7) + I would not know how to live without the Lord. Jesus often visits me in this seclusion, teaches me, reassures me, rebukes me, and admonished me. He Himself forms my heart according to His divine wishes and likings, but always with much goodness and mercy. Our hearts are fused as one.
1025 March 19, 1937. Today, I united myself in spirit with the Adoration that is taking place in our house [40-hour Adoration in Cracow], but my soul was full of torments, and some strange kind of apprehension was piercing my heart. Because of this, I redoubled my prayers. Suddenly I saw the gaze of god reaching into the depths of my heart.
1026 As I sat down to a very tasty breakfast, I said to the Lord, “Thank you for these gifts, but my heart is dying of longing for You, and nothing earthly is tasty to me. I desire the food on Your love.”
1027 Today I was drawn by some mysterious force to act. I must resist this attraction, or else I would follow it at once.
1028 March 21, 1937. Palm Sunday. During Mass, my soul was steeped in the bitterness and suffering of Jesus. Jesus gave me to understand how much He had suffered in that triumphal procession. “Hosanna” was reverberating in Jesus‟ heart as an echo of “Crucify.” Jesus allowed me to feel this in a special way.
1029 The doctor did not allow me to go to the chapel to attend the Passion Service, although I had a great desire for it; however, I prayed in my own room. Suddenly I heard the bell in
the next room, and I went in and rendered a service to a seriously sick person. (8) When I returned to my room, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, who said, My daughter, you gave Me greater pleasure by rendering Me that service than if you had prayed for a long time. I answered, “But it was not to You, Jesus, but to that patient that I rendered this service.” And the Lord answered me, Yes, My daughter, but whatever you for your neighbor, you do for Me.
1030 + O my Jesus, give me wisdom, give me a mind great and enlightened by Your light, and this only, that I may know You better, O Lord. For the better I get to know You, the more ardently will I love You, the sole object of my love. In You my soul drowns, in You my heart dissolves. I know no how to love partially, but only with the full strength of my soul and the total ardor of my heart. You Yourself, O Lord, have enkindled this love of mine for You; in You my heart has drowned forever.
1031 March 22, 1937. As I was talking, today, to a certain person, I recognized that she was suffering greatly in spirit, although exteriorly she pretended that she was very happy and was not suffering at all. I felt inspired to tell her that what was troubling her was a temptation. When I disclosed to her what was torturing her, she burst into tears and told me that she had come to see me precisely to speak to me, because she felt that it would bring her relief. The suffering was of such a kind that the soul was being attracted by god‟s grace on the one hand and by the world on the other. She was going through a terrible struggle that brought her to the point of weeping like a little child. But she went away soothed and set at peace.
1032 + During Holy Mass, I saw the Lord Jesus nailed upon the cross amidst great torments. A soft moan issued from His Heart. After some time, He said, I thirst. I thirst for salvation of souls. Help Me, My daughter, to save souls. Join your sufferings to My Passion and offer them to the heavenly Father for sinners.
1033 (9) + When I see that the burden is beyond my strength, I do not consider or analyze it or probe into it, but I run like a child to the Heart of Jesus and say only one word to Him: “You can do all things.” And then I keep silent, because I know that Jesus Himself will intervene in the matter, and as for me, instead of tormenting myself, I use that time to love Him.
1034 Monday of Holy Week. I asked the Lord to let me take part in His Sorrowful Passion that I might experience in soul and body, to the extent that this is possible for a creature, His bitter Passion. I asked to experience all the bitterness, in so far as this was possible. And the Lord answered that He would give me this grace, and that on Thursday, after Holy Communion, He would grant this in a special way.
1035 + This evening, a certain young man was dying; he was suffering terribly. For his intention, I began to say the chaplet which the Lord had taught me. I said it all, but the agony continued. I wanted to start the Litany of the Saints, but suddenly I heard the words, Say the chaplet. I understood that the soul needed the special help of prayers and great mercy. And so I locked myself in my room and fell prostrate before God and begged for mercy upon that soul. Then I felt the great majesty of God and His great justice. I trembled with fear, but did not stop begging the Lord‟s mercy for that soul. Then I took the cross off my breast, the crucifix I had received when making my vows,180 and I put it on the chest of the dying man and said to the Lord, “Jesus, look on this soul with the
same love with which You looked on my holocaust on the day of my perpetual vows, and by the power of the promise which You made to me in respect to the dying and those who would invoke Your mercy on them, [grant this man the grace of a happy death].” His suffering then ceased, and he died peacefully. Oh, how much we should pray for the dying! Let us take advantage of mercy while there is still time for mercy.
1036 (10) + I realize more and more how much every soul needs God‟s mercy throughout life and particularly at the hour of death. This chaplet mitigates God‟s anger, as He Himself told me.
1037 + I find myself so weak that were it not for Holy Communion I would fall continually. One thing alone sustains me, and that is Holy Communion. From it I draw my strength; in it is all my comfort. I fear life on days when I do not receive Holy Communion. I fear my own self. Jesus concealed in the Host is everything to me. From the tabernacle I draw strength, power, courage and light. Here, I seek consolation in time of anguish. I would not know how to give glory to God if I did not have the Eucharist in my heart.
1038 + My beloved native land, Poland, if you only knew how many sacrifices and prayers I offer to God for you! But be watchful and give glory to God, who lifts you up and singles you out in a special way. But know how to be grateful.
1039 + I suffer great pain at the sight of the sufferings of others. All these sufferings are reflected in my heart. I carry their torments in my heart so that it even wears me out physically. I would like all pains to fall upon me so as to bring relief to my neighbor.
1040 Amid terrible torments, I fix my eyes on You, my God, and though a storm is gathering over my head, I know that the sun is not extinguished. Nor do I wonder at the deceitfulness of creatures, but I accept in advance whatever may happen. My lips are silent, while my ears are satiated with derision. I strive for silence in my heart amidst the greatest sufferings, and I protect myself against all attacks with the shield of Your Name.
1041 (11) An ardent desire for this Feast181 is burning up my whole soul. In fervent prayer for the hastening of the Feast I find some relief, and I have begun a novena for the intention of certain priests that God may grant them light and inspiration to apply for the promulgation of this Feast, and that the Spirit of God inspire the Holy Father regarding the entire matter.
The novena consists of an hour of adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. I have implored God to hasten this feast and have asked the Holy Spirit to inspire certain people regarding this whole matter. I am finishing this novena on Holy Thursday.
1042 + March 23, 1937. Today is the seventh day of the novena. I have received a great and inconceivable grace: the Most Merciful Jesus has promised that I will be present at the celebration of this solemn Feast.
1043 This day, the 23rd, that is, Tuesday of Holy Week, is a day on which the Lord has granted me many graces.
1044 Suddenly, God‟s presence took hold of me, and at once I saw myself in Rome, in the Holy Father‟s chapel and at the same time I was in our chapel. And the celebration of the Holy Father and the entire Church was closely connected with our chapel and, in a very special
way, with our Congregation. And I took part in the solemn celebration simultaneously here and in Rome, for the celebration was so closely connected with Rome that, even as I write, I cannot distinguish the two but I am writing it down as I saw it. I saw the Lord Jesus in our chapel, exposed in the monstrance on the high altar. The chapel was adorned as for a feast, and on that day anyone who wanted to come was allowed in.182 The crowd was so enormous that the eye could not take it all in. Everyone was participating in the celebrations with great joy, and many of them obtained what they desired. (12) The same celebration was held in Rome, in a beautiful church, and the Holy Father, with all the clergy, was celebrating this Feast, and then suddenly I saw Saint Peter, who stood between the altar and the Holy Father. I could not hear what Saint Peter said but I saw that the Holy Father understood his words…….
1045 Then some clergymen whom I did not know began to examine me and to humiliate me,183 or rather, what I had written; but I saw how Jesus Himself was defending me and giving them to understand what they did not know.
1046 Then suddenly, I saw how the two rays, as painted in the image, issued from the Host and spread over the whole world. This lasted only a moment, but it seemed as though it had lasted all day, and our chapel was overcrowded all day long, and the whole day abounded in joy.
1047 Then suddenly I saw on our altar the living Lord Jesus, just as He is depicted in the image. Yet I felt that the sisters and all the people did not see the Lord Jesus as I saw Him. Jesus looked with great kindness and joy at the Holy Father, at certain priests, at the entire clergy, at the people and at our Congregation.
1048 Then, in an instant, I was caught up to stand near Jesus, and I stood on the altar next to the Lord Jesus, and my spirit was filled with happiness so great that I am unable to comprehend it or write about it. A profound peace as well as repose filled my soul. Jesus bent toward me and said with great kindness, What is it you desire, My daughter? And I answered, “I desire worship and glory be given to Your mercy.” I already am receiving worship by the institution and celebration of this Feast; what else do you desire? I then looked at the immense crowd worshiping The Divine Mercy and I said to the Lord, “Jesus, bless all those who are gathered to give glory to You and to venerate Your infinite mercy.” Jesus made a sign of the cross with His hand, and this blessing was reflected in the souls like a flash of light. (13) My spirit was engulfed in His love. I felt as if I had dissolved and disappeared completely in God. When I came to myself, a profound peace was flooding my soul, and an extraordinary understanding of many things was communicated to my intellect, an understanding that had not been granted me previously.
1049 I am immensely happy, although I am the least of all; and I would not change anything of what God has given me. I would not want to change places even with a Seraph, as regards the interior knowledge of God which He Himself has given me. The intimate knowledge I have of the Lord is such as no creature can comprehend, particularly, the depth of his mercy that envelops me. I am happy with everything You give me.
1050 March 24, 1937. Wednesday of Holy Week. My heart is languishing for God. I desire to become united with Him. A faint fear pierces my soul and at the same time a kind of flame of love sets my heart on fire. Love and suffering are united in my heart.
1051 I have felt great sufferings in my body, but I feel the Lord is upholding me, for otherwise I would not be able to bear it.
1052 O my Jesus, I beg You on behalf of the whole Church: Grant it love and the light of Your Spirit, and give power to the words of priests so that hardened hearts might be brought to repentance and return to You, O Lord. Lord, give us holy priests; You yourself maintain them in holiness. O Divine and Great High Priest, may the power of your mercy accompany them everywhere and protect them from the devil‟s traps and snares which are continually being set for the souls of priests. May the power of Your mercy, O Lord, shatter and bring to naught all that might tarnish the sanctity of priests, for You can do all things.
1053 (14) March 25, 1937. Holy Thursday. During Holy Mass, I saw the Lord, who said to me, Lean your head on My breast and rest. The Lord pressed me to His Heart and said, I shall give you a small portion of My Passion, but do not be afraid, be brave; do not seek relief, but accept everything with submission to My will.
1054 When Jesus was taking leave of me, such great pain filled my soul that it is impossible to express it. Physical strength left me; I left the chapel quickly and went to bed. I was oblivious of what was going on around me. My soul was filled with longing for the Lord, and all the bitterness of His Divine Heart was imparted to me. This lasted for about three hours. I asked the Lord to protect me from the eyes of these around me. Although I wanted to, I could not take any food all day, until evening.
I earnestly desired to spend the whole night with Jesus in the dark prison cell.184 I prayed until eleven o‟clock. At eleven, the Lord said to me, Lie down and take your rest. I have let you experience in three hours what I suffered during the whole night. And immediately I went to bed.
I had no physical strength left; the suffering had deprived me of it completely. Throughout all this time, I had been in a sort of swoon. Every beat of Jesus‟ Heart was reflected in my heart and pierced my soul. If these tortures had concerned me only, I would have suffered less; but as I looked at the One whom my heart has loved with all its might and saw that He was suffering, and that I could not bring Him any relief, my heart dissolved in love and bitterness. I was dying with Him, and yet I could not die. But I would not have exchanged that martyrdom for all the pleasures in the whole world. In the course of this suffering, my love grew immeasurably. I know that the Lord was supporting me with His omnipotence, for otherwise I would not have been able to endure it for even a moment. Together with Him, I underwent, in a special way, all the various tortures. The world still has no idea of all that Jesus suffered. (15) I accompanied Him to the Garden of Gethsemane; I stayed with Him in the prison; I went with Him before the judges; I underwent with Him each of the tortures. Not a single one of His movements or looks escaped my notice. I came to know all the omnipotence of His love and of His mercy towards souls.
1055 March 26, 1937. Friday. In the morning, I at once felt the torture of His five wounds in my body. This suffering continued until three o‟clock. Although there is no outward sign of it, the torture is no less painful. I am glad that Jesus is protecting me from people‟s eyes.
1056 At eleven o‟clock Jesus said to me, My host, you are refreshment for My tormented Heart. I thought, after these words, that my heart would burn up. And He brought me into such close intimacy with Himself that my heart was espoused to His Heart in a loving union, and I could feel the faintest stir of His Heart and he, of mine. The fire of my created love was joined to the ardor of His eternal love. This one grace surpasses all others in its immensity. His Trinitarian Being enveloped me entirely, and I am totally immersed in Him. My littleness is, as it were, wrestling with this Immortal Might One. I am immersed in incomprehensible love and incomprehensible torture because of His Passion. All that concerns His Being is imparted to me also.
1057 Up to now, Jesus has been bringing me to know about, and to have a presentiment of, this grace, but today He granted it to me. I would not even dare to dream about it. My heart is in ceaseless ecstasy, as it were, although outwardly nothing disturbs my contacts with my neighbor or my attending to various matters. Nothing is capable of interrupting my ecstasy, nor can anyone suspect it, because I have asked God to protect me from detection by people. And, together with this grace, there entered my soul a whole ocean of light, enabling me to understand God and myself. Amazement overwhelms me entirely and leads me as if into a new ecstasy [aroused by the fact] that God has deigned to descend to me, who am so little.
1058 (16) + At three o‟clock, I prayed prostrate, in the form of a cross, for the whole world. Jesus‟ mortal life was coming to an end. I heard His seven words: then He looked at me and said, Beloved daughter of My Heart, you are My solace amidst terrible torments.
1059 Jesus is commanding me to make a novena before the Feast of Mercy, and today I am to begin it for the conversion of the whole world and for the recognition of The Divine Mercy…. so that every soul will praise My goodness. I desire trust from My creatures. Encourage souls to place great trust in My fathomless mercy. Let the weak, sinful souls have no fear to approach Me, for even if it had more sins that there are grains of sand in the world, all would be drowned in the unmeasurable depths of My mercy.
1060 When Jesus had given up His last breath, my soul dissolved from the pain, and for a long time I could not come to myself. I found some relief in tears. The One whom my heart had come to love has died. Will anyone understand my grief?
1061 In the evening, over the radio, I heard hymns; that is, psalms, sung by priests.185 I burst into tears, and all of the pain was renewed in my soul, and I wept sorrowfully, unable to find appeasement in this pain. Then I heard a voice in my soul: Do not cry; I am not suffering any more. And for the faithfulness with which you accompanied Me in My sufferings and death, your own death will be a solemn one, and I will accompany you in that last hour. Beloved pearl of My Heart, I see your love so pure, purer than that of the angels, and all the more so because you keep fighting. For your sake I bless the world. I see your efforts to please Me, and they delight My Heart.
After these words, I wept no more, but thanked the heavenly Father for having sent us His Son and for the work of the Redemption of mankind.
1062 (17) + I made an hour of adoration in thanksgiving for the graces which had been granted me and for my illness. Illness also is a great grace. I have been ill for four months, but I
do not recall having wasted so much as a minute of it. All has been for God and souls; I want to be faithful to Him everywhere.
During this adoration, I realized the utter care and goodness that Jesus has been lavishing upon me and the protection He has given me against all evil. I thank You especially, Jesus, for visiting me in my solitude, and I thank You also for inspiring my superiors to send me for this treatment. Give them, Jesus, the omnipotence of Your blessing and compensate them for all the losses incurred because of me.
1063 Today, Jesus is bidding me to comfort and reassure a certain soul who has opened herself to me and told me about her difficulties. This soul is pleasing to the Lord, but she is not aware of it. God is keeping her in deep humility. I have carried out the Lord‟s directives.
1064 + O my most sweet Master, good Jesus, I give You my heart. You shape and mold it after Your liking. O fathomless love, I open the calyx of my heart to You, like a rosebud to the freshness of dew. To You alone, my Betrothed, is known the fragrance of the flower of my heart. Let the fragrance of my sacrifice be pleasing to You. O Immortal God, my everlasting delight, already here on earth You are my heaven. May every beat of my heart be a new hymn of praise to You, O Holy Trinity! Had I as many hearts as there are drops of water in the ocean or grains of sand in the whole world, I would offer them all to You, O my Love, O Treasure of my heart! Whomever I shall meet in my life, no matter who they may be, I want to draw them all to love You, O my Jesus, my Beauty, my Repose, my sole Master, Judge, Savior and Spouse, all in one; I know that one title will modify the other – I have entrusted everything to Your mercy.
1065 (18) + My Jesus, support me when difficult and stormy days come, days of testing, days of ordeal, when suffering and fatigue begin to oppress my body and my soul. Sustain me, Jesus, and give me strength to bear suffering. Set a guard upon my lips that they may address no word of complaint to creatures. Your most merciful Heart is all my hope. I have nothing for my defense but only Your mercy; in it lies all my trust.
1066 March 27, 1937. Today, I returned from Pradnik, after nearly four months of treatment. For everything, I give great thanks to God. I have made use of every moment to glorify God. When I went into the chapel for a moment, I realized how much I would have to suffer and struggle, with regard to this whole matter. O Jesus, my strength, You alone can help me; grant me fortitude.
1067 March 28. Resurrection. During the Mass of Resurrection, I saw the Lord in beauty and splendor, and He said to me, My daughter, peace be with you. He blessed me and disappeared, and my soul was filled with gladness and joy beyond words. My heart was fortified for struggle and sufferings.
1068 Today, I had a conversation with Father [Andrasz] and he recommended great caution in the matter of these sudden appearances of the Lord Jesus. When he was speaking about divine mercy, some sort of strength and power entered my heart. My God, I want so much to express everything and am so very unable to do so. Father tells me that the Lord Jesus is very generous in communicating himself to souls and, on the other hand, He is, so to speak, stingy. “Although God‟s generosity is very great,” said Father, “be careful anyway, because these sudden appearances arouse suspicion; although,
personally, I do not see anything wrong here, or anything contrary to faith. Be a little more careful, and when Mother Superior comes, you can talk to her about these things.”
1069 (19) March 29, 1937. During meditation today, I saw the Lord in great beauty, and He said to me, Peace be to you, My daughter. My whole soul trembled with love for Him and I said, “O Lord, although I love You with all my heart, please do not appear to me, because my spiritual director has told me that these sudden appearances of yours arouse the suspicion that You could be an illusion. And although I love You more than my own life, and I know that You are my Lord and God, who are communing with me, I must above all be obedient to my confessor.”
Jesus listened to my words with gravity and kindness and spoke these words to me: Tell your confessor that I commune with your soul in such an intimate manner because you do not steal My gifts, and this is why I pour all these graces upon your soul, because I know that you will not hoard them for yourself. But as a sign that his prudence is agreeable to Me, you shall not see Me, and I will not appear to you in this way until you have given him an account of what I have just said.
1070 + April 2, 1937. In the morning, during Mass, I heard these words: Tell the Superior that I want adoration to take place here for the intention of imploring mercy for the world.
1071 O my Jesus, You alone know what my heart is going through. O my Strength, You can do all things, and though I expose myself to great sufferings, I shall always remain faithful to You because I am sustained by Your singular grace.
1072 + April 3, 1937. Today, the Lord said to me, Tell the Reverend Professor [probably Father Theodore186] that I desire that on the Feast of My Mercy he deliver a sermon about My fathomless mercy. I fulfilled God‟s wish, but the priest did not want to acknowledge the Lord‟s message. When I left the confessional, I heard these words: Do as I tell you and be at peace; this matter is between him and Me. You will not be held responsible for this.
1073 (20) April 4, 1937. Low Sunday; that is, the Feast of Mercy. In the morning, after Holy Communion, my soul was immersed in the Godhead. I was united to the Three Divine persons in such a way that when I was united to Jesus, I was simultaneously united to the Father and to the Holy Spirit, My soul was flooded with joy beyond understanding, and the Lord gave me to experience the whole ocean and abyss of His fathomless mercy. Oh, if only souls would want to understand how much God loves them! All comparisons, even if they were the most tender and the most vehement, are but a mere shadow when set against the reality.
When I was united to the Lord, I came to know how many souls are glorifying God‟s mercy.
1074 When I went for adoration, I heard these words: My beloved daughter, write down these words, that today My Heart has rested in this convent [the Cracow house]. Tell the world about My mercy and My love.
The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!
My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it with peace.
Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.
1075 Souls who spread the honor of My mercy I shield through their entire lives as a tender mother her infant, and at the hour of death I will not be a Judge for them, but the merciful Savior. (21) At that last hour, a soul has nothing with which to defend itself except My mercy. Happy is the soul that during its lifetime immersed itself in the Fountain of Mercy, because justice will have no hold on it.
1076 Write this: Everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of My mercy, more deeply than an infant in its mother‟s womb. How painfully distrust of My goodness wounds Me! Sins of distrust wound Me most painfully.
1077 During Holy Mass, the Directress of Novices [Sister Callista187] played a beautiful hymn about the mercy of God. I then asked the Lord to give her a deeper knowledge of the abyss of this inconceivable mercy.
1078 + When I was saying good night to the Lord before retiring, I heard the words, Host, dear to My Heart, for your sake I bless the earth.
1079 April 7, 1937. Today, when a certain person entered the chapel, I felt a terrible pain in my hands, my feet and my side, just as Jesus did during His Passion. This lasted only for a brief moment. But in this way I recognized a soul who was not in God‟s grace.
1080 On one occasion I saw the Holy Father reflecting about this matter [presumably the establishment of the Feast of the Divine Mercy].
1081 April 10, 1937. Today, Mother Superior gave me an article about The Divine Mercy to read, and with it there was also a reproduction of the image that had been painted. The article appeared in the Vilnius Weekly188 and was sent to us in Cracow by Father Michael Sopocko, that zealous apostle of The Divine mercy. In this article are included words that the lord Jesus has spoken to me, some of them quoted verbatim.
1082 When I took the issue of the Weekly into my hands, an arrow of love pierced my soul. – For the sake of your (22) ardent desires, I am hastening the Feast of Mercy. My spirit burst into such a powerful flame of love that it seemed to me that I was totally dissolved in God.
1083 + That beautiful soul who is spreading this work of Divine Mercy throughout the world is, by his deep humility, very pleasing to God.
1084 Before every major grace, my soul undergoes a test of patience, for I feel the grace, but do not yet possess it. My spirit burns with impatience, but the hour has not yet come. These moments are so very extraordinary that it is difficult to describe them.
1085 April 13, 1937. Today I must stay in bed all day. I had a violent fit of coughing, which left me so weak that I have no strength to walk. My spirit is eager to do God‟s work, but physical strength has left me. I cannot penetrate Your actions at this moment, O Lord; therefore, I keep repeating with a loving act of the will: Do with me as You please.
1086 Although the temptations are strong, a whole wave of doubts beats against my soul, and discouragement stands by, ready to enter into the act. The Lord, however, strengthens my will, against which all the attempts of the enemy are shattered as if against a rock. I see how many actual graces God grants me; these support me ceaselessly. I am very weak, and I attribute everything solely to the grace of God.
1087 + When one day I resolved to practice a certain virtue, I lapsed into the vice opposed to that virtue ten times more frequently than on other days. In the evening, I was reflecting on why, today, I had lapsed so extraordinarily, and I heard the words: You were counting too much on yourself and too little on Me. And I understood the cause of my lapses.
1088 (23) Sudden return of health.
After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear sign of God‟s will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed. The Coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a few more times, it will surely be the end of me.
1089 On April 14, I felt so bad that I barely managed to get up to assist at Holy Mass. I felt much worse than I did at the time they sent me for treatment. There was wheezing, and there were rattling noises in my lungs and strange pains. When I received Holy Communion, I don‟t know why, but it was as if something were urging me to this prayer, and I began to pray in this manner: “Jesus, may Your pure and healthy blood circulate in my ailing organism, and may Your pure and healthy body transform my weak body, and may a healthy and vigorous life throb within me, if it is truly Your holy will that I should set about the work in question; and this will be a clear sign of Your holy will for me.”
As I was praying in this way, I suddenly felt as if something were jolting my whole organism and, in an instant, I felt completely well. My breath is clear, as if there had never been anything the matter with my lungs, and I feel no pain, and this is a sign for me that I should set about the work.
1090 And this happened on the last day of my novena to the Holy Spirit. After this return to health, I found myself united with the Lord Jesus in a purely spiritual way. Jesus gave me strong assurances; that is, He confirmed me in respect to His demands. I remained close to the Lord Jesus all that day and talked with Him about the details concerning that congregation.
(24) Jesus infused my soul with power and courage to act. Now I understand that if the Lord demands something of a soul, He gives it the means to carry it out, and through 256
grace He makes it capable of doing this. So, even if the soul be utterly miserable, at the Lord‟s command it can undertake things beyond its expectation, because this is the sign by which it can be known that the Lord is with that soul: if God‟s power and strength, which make the soul courageous and valiant, is manifest within it. As for myself, I am always at first a bit frightened at the Lord‟s greatness, but afterwards my soul is filled with profound peace which nothing can disturb, as well as an inner strength to do what the Lord is demanding at that particular moment…….
1091 Then I heard these words: Go tell the Superior that you are in good health.
I neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that I am enjoying good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I asked for this health as evidence of God‟s will and not in order to seek relief from my suffering.
1092 April 16, 1937. Today, as God‟s Majesty swept over me, my soul understood that the Lord, so very great though He is, delights in humble souls. The more a soul humbles itself, the greater the kindness with which the Lord approaches it. Uniting himself closely with it, He raises it to His very throne. Happy is the soul whom the Lord himself defends. I have come to know that only love is of any value; love is greatness; nothing, no works, can compare with a single act of pure love of God.
1093 + O Jesus, shield me with Your mercy and also judge me leniently, or else Your justice may rightly damn me.
1094 (25) April 17. Today, during a catechetical lecture [by Father Theodore189], I was given a confirmation of what I had understood interiorly and lived by for quite some time; namely, that if a soul loves God sincerely and is intimately united with Him, then, even though such a soul may be living in the midst of difficult external circumstances, nothing can disturb its interior life; and in the midst of corruption, it can remain pure and unsullied; because the great love of God gives it strength for battle, and God also protects in a special way, even in a miraculous way, a soul that loves Him sincerely.
1095 When, one day, God gave me the inner knowledge that I had never lost my innocence, and that despite all dangers in which I had found myself, He Himself had been guarding me so that the virginity of my soul and heart would remain intact, I spent the day in fervent interior thanksgiving. I thanked God that He had been pleased to protect me from evil, and also for this: That I had found favor in His eyes, that He Himself had given me assurance of this.
1096 And a few years later, He deigned to confirm me in this grace, and since that time I have not experienced the rebellion of the senses against the soul. I have written this down in greater detail elsewhere in my diary [cf. paragraph no. 40]. As often as I recall this inconceivable grace, a fresh flame of love and gratitude to God bursts forth from my heart; and this same love leads me to complete forgetfulness of self.
1097 Since that time, I have been living under the virginal cloak of the Mother of God. She has been guarding me and instructing me. I am quite at peace, close to Her Immaculate Heart. Because I am so weak and inexperienced, I nestle like a little child close to Her heart.
1098 Although God has confirmed me in this virtue, I am, however, constantly on the watch and fear even my own shadow, but this only because I have come to love God intensely.
1099 (26) This grace from God was given to me precisely because I was the weakest of all people; this is why the Almighty has surrounded me with His special mercy.
1100 April 24. I can sense every major grace in advance; a strange longing and desire for God comes over me, and then I wait for the grace. And the greater the grace, the more distinct is the presentiment, and the fiercer is my struggle with the adversary of my salvation.
My soul is sometimes in such a condition that I can only, describe it by means of a comparison: there are two great friends, and one of them is giving a great feast and has invited the other; both of them are looking forward to it; but the hour of the feast has been set. Well, the moments just before receiving the grace are so violent that it is difficult to describe them. They are marked by painful longing and the fire of love. I can feel the Lord is there, but I cannot be completely absorbed in Him, because the hour has been designated. Often, before such a moment of grace, I am utterly destitute in mind, will and heart. I am left all alone, and I wait for the One God. He Himself effects this in me before His coming.
April 23, 1937. I have begun a three-day retreat today.190
1101 In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I shall speak to you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza191] so that you may not yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the first meditation my soul was struck by the following words of the priest: I must not oppose /God‟s will and God‟s designs, whatever they might be; and as soon as I am convinced of the certitude and the authenticity of the will of God, I have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me from this. Whatever (27) the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to carry it out. This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself on my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants of me, and what I ought to do.
1102 There are, in my life, times and moments of spiritual insight; that is, divine illuminations, when the soul receives inward instruction about things it has not read in any book and has not been taught by any person. These are times of great inner knowledge which God himself imparts to the soul. These are great mysteries…… I often receive light and the knowledge of the interior life of God and of God‟s intimate disposition, and this fills me with unutterable trust and a joy that I cannot contain within myself; I desire to dissolve completely in Him……
1103 + The quintessence of love is sacrifice and suffering. Truth wears a crown of thorns. Prayer involves the intellect, the will, and the emotions.
1104 Today there was a beautiful teaching [by Father Plaza] on the goodness and mercy of God. During this conference my soul experienced the flames of God‟s love, and I understood that God‟s word is a living word.
1105 My particular examen is still the same; namely, union with the merciful Christ, and silence.
The flower which I lay at the feet of the Mother of God for May is my practice of silence.
1106 (28) + Virtue without prudence is not virtue at all. We should often pray to the Holy Spirit for this grace of prudence. Prudence consists in discretion, rational reflection and courageous resolution. The final decision is always up to us. We must decide; we can and we ought to seek advice and light…..
1107 Today during meditation, God gave me inner light and the understanding as to what sanctity is and of what it consists. Although I have heard these things many times in conferences, the soul understands them in a different way when it comes to know of them through the light of God which illumines it.
Neither graces, nor revelations, nor raptures, nor gifts granted to a soul make it perfect, but rather the intimate union of the soul with God. These gifts are merely ornaments of the soul, but constitute neither its essence nor its perfection. My sanctity and perfection consist in the close union of my will with the will of God. God never violates our free will. It is up to us whether we want to receive God‟s grace or not. It is up to us whether we will cooperate with it or waste it.
1108 In the last evening conference, which was a preparation for the renewal of vows, Father was speaking about the happiness that flows from the three vows, and about the reward that comes from observing them faithfully. Suddenly, my soul was thrown into great interior darkness. My soul was filled with bitterness instead of joy, and my heart was pierced with a sharp pain. I felt so miserable and unworthy of this grace and, conscious of my misery and unworthiness, I would not have dared to so much as approach the feet of the youngest postulant to kiss them. I saw the postulants, in spirit, beautiful and pleasing to the Lord; and myself, an abyss of misery. After (29) the conference, I flung myself at the feet of the hidden God, midst tears and pain. I threw myself into the sea of God‟s infinite mercy, and only there did I experience relief and feel that all of His omnipotent mercy was enveloping me.
1109 + 30. This is the day for the renewal of vows.
Immediately upon my awakening, God‟s presence enveloped me, and I felt I was a child of God. Divine love was poured into my soul, and God gave me to see how everything depended on His will. He spoke these words to me: I want to grant a complete pardon to the souls that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion on the Feast of My mercy. Then he said to me, My daughter, fear nothing. I am always with you, even if it seems to you that I am not. Your humility draws Me down from My lofty throne, and I unite Myself closely with you.
1110 29 [April 1937]. The Lord gave me to know about the disputes192 that were going on in the Vatican concerning this Feast. The dignitary Pacelli did much work on this.
1111 Today is the renewal; that is, the profession of vows193 in the course of a solemn celebration. As the sisters were making their vows, I heard angels singing in various tones, “Holy, Holy, Holy,” with chanting so delightful that no human tongue could ever match it.
1112 In the afternoon, I talked with my beloved Mother Directress of Novices, Mother Mary Joseph. We walked once around the garden, and I was able to have a talk with her, although it was a rather general one. She is ever the same beloved Mother Directress of Novices, although she is in fact no longer the directress, but a Superior, and it is already ten years since I pronounced my vows. She told me that it is impossible for a religious to live without the cross. However, she revealed to me a certain suffering which I had experienced in Warsaw, although I had never told her (30) about it. All the graces which I had received during the novitiate came back vividly before the eyes of my soul. Oh, how grateful I am to her! When my soul was plunged in darkness, and it seemed to me that I was damned, she wrenched me from that abyss by the power of obedience.
1113 My soul is often burdened with suffering, and there is no human being who can understand these torments.
1114 May 1, 1937. Today I felt the nearness of my Mother, my heavenly Mother, although before every Holy Communion I earnestly ask the Mother of God to help me prepare my soul for the coming of Her Son, and I clearly feel Her protection over me. I entreat Her to be so gracious as to enkindle in me the fire of God‟s love, such as burned in Her own pure heart at the time of the Incarnation of the Word of God.
1115 May 4. Today I went to see Mother General [Michael] for a moment and asked her, “Dear Mother, have you had nay inspiration regarding my leaving the convent?” Mother General answered, “Until the present, Sister, I have always restrained you, but now I leave you complete freedom to choose to do as you wish; you can leave the Congregation or you can stay.” So I answered, “Very well.” I thought of writing immediately to the Holy Father to ask him to release me from my vows.194 When I had left Mother General, darkness once again descended upon my soul, as it had in the past. It is strange that, each time I ask permission to leave the Congregation, this darkness invades my soul, and I feel as though I have been left completely on my own. While experiencing this torment of the spirit, (31) I decided to go immediately to Mother and tell her about my strange torment and struggle. Mother answered, “That leaving of yours is a temptation.” After talking to her for a while I felt some relief, but the darkness persisted. “This Divine Mercy is a beautiful thing, and it must be a great work of the Lord, since Satan opposes it so much and wants to destroy it.” Such were the words of our beloved Mother General.
1116 No one can understand or comprehend, nor can I myself describe, my torments. But there can be no sufferings greater than this. The sufferings of the martyrs are not greater because, at such times, death would be a relief for me. There is nothing to which I can compare these sufferings, this endless agony of the soul.
1117 May 5, . Today, I opened up my soul somewhat in confession, because it occurred to me that perhaps this is the real temptation: that at the time I ask to be allowed to leave the Congregation I experience such great suffering and darkness. To this the confessor replied that perhaps it was not the time appointed by God. “You must pray and wait patiently, but it is true that great sufferings are in store for you. You will have to bear many sufferings and overcome many difficulties; that much is certain. It would be better to wait and to pray much for deeper knowledge and for divine light. These are grave matters.”
1118 My God! In these difficult moments my spiritual director [Father Andrasz] is away, for he has gone to Rome. Jesus, since You have taken him away from me, guide me Yourself, (32) because You alone know how much I can bear. I believe firmly that God cannot give me more than I can bear. I trust in His mercy.
1119 In the moments when I am between heaven and earth, I keep silent, because even if I did speak, who would understand what I say? Eternity will reveal many things about which I am now silent……
1120 When I went out into the garden, I saw how everything was breathing the joy of spring. The trees, adorned with flowers, gave off an intoxicating odor. Everything was throbbing with joy, and the birds were singing and chirping their adoration of God and said to me, “Rejoice and be happy, Sister Faustina”; but my soul remains in torment and darkness. My soul is so sensitive to the rustle of grace [that] it knows how to talk with all created things and with everything that surrounds me, and I know why God has adorned the earth in this way…. But my heart cannot be joyful because my Beloved has hidden Himself from me, and I will not rest until I find Him…. I do not know how to live without God, but I also feel that God, absolutely self-sufficient though He is, cannot be happy without me….
1121 May 6, . The Ascension of Our Lord.
Since early this morning, my soul has been touched by God. After Holy Communion, I communed for a while with the heavenly Father. My soul was drawn into the glowing center of love. I understood that no exterior works could stand comparison with pure love of God….. I saw the joy of the Incarnate Word, and I was immersed in the Divine Trinity. When I came to myself, longing filled my soul, and I yearned to be united (33) with God. Such tremendous love for the heavenly Father enveloped me that I call this day an uninterrupted ecstasy of love. The whole universe seemed to me like a tiny drop in comparison with God. There is no greater happiness than when God gives me to know interiorly that every beat of my heart is pleasing to Him, and when He shows me that He loves me in a special way. This strong inner conviction, by which God assures me of His love for me and of how much my soul pleases Him, brings deep peace to my soul. Throughout this day, I was unable to take any food; I felt gratified to the full with love.
1122 God of great mercy, who deigned to send us Your only-begotten Son as the greatest proof of Your fathomless love and mercy, You do not reject sinners; but in Your boundless mercy You have opened for them also Your treasures, treasures from which they can draw abundantly, not only justification, but also all the sanctity that a soul can attain. Father of great mercy, I desire that all hearts turn with confidence to Your infinite mercy. No one will be justified before You if he is not accompanied by Your unfathomable mercy. When You reveal the mystery of Your mercy to us, there will not be enough of eternity to properly thank You for it.
1123 Oh, how sweet it is to have in the depth of one‟s soul that which the Church tells us we must believe. When my soul is immersed in love, I solve the most intricate questions clearly and quickly. Only love is able to cross over precipices and mountain peaks. Love, once again, love.
1124 (34) + 12 [May 1937]. A strange darkness sometimes invades my intellect. I am submerged in nothingness against my will.
1125 May 20, 1937. When for a whole month I had been enjoying good health, it occurred to me that I did not know which was more pleasing to the Lord – my serving Him in illness or in the robust health for which I had asked Him – and I said to the Lord, “Jesus, do with me as You please,” and Jesus returned me to my previous condition.
1126 Oh, how sweet it is to live in a convent among sisters, but I must not forget that these angels are in human bodies.
1127 On one occasion, I saw Satan hurrying about and looking for someone among the sisters, but he could find no one. I felt an interior inspiration to command him in the Name of God to confess to me what he was looking for among the sisters. And he confessed, though unwillingly, “I am looking for idle souls [cf. Si. 33:28; Pr.12:11].” When I commanded him again in the Name of God to tell me to which souls in religious life he has the easiest access, he said, again unwillingly, “To lazy and idle souls.” I took note of the fact that, at present, there were no such souls in this house. Let the toiling and tired souls rejoice.
1128 May 22, 1937. The heat is so intense today that it is difficult to bear. We are all thirsting for rain, and still it does not come. For several days the sky has been overcast, but there is no rain. When I looked at (35) the plants, thirsting for the rain I was moved with pity, and I decided to say the chaplet until the Lord would send us rain. Before supper, the sky covered over with clouds, and a heavy rain fell on the earth. I had been saying this prayer without interruption for three hours. And the Lord let me know that everything can be obtained by means of this prayer.
[May] 23. The Feast of the Most Holy Trinity.
1129 During Holy Mass, I found myself suddenly united with the Most Holy Trinity. I recognized His majesty and greatness. I was united to the Three Persons. And once I was united to One of these Most Venerable Persons, I was, at the same time, united to the other Two Persons. The joy and happiness that my soul felt is beyond description. It grieves me that I am unable to put down in words that which has no words.
1130 I heard these words: Tell the Superior General to count on you as the most faithful daughter in the Order.195
1131 After these words, I received an inner understanding of what all created things are before God. Immense and incomprehensible is His majesty. And that He condescends toward us, is the abyss of His mercy……
1132 All things will have an end in this vale of tears,
Tears will run dry and pain will cease.
Only one thing will remain ----
Love for You, O Lord.
All things will have an end in this exile,
The ordeals and wilderness of the soul.
And though she live in perpetual agony, 262
If God is with her, nothing can shake her.
1133 (36) 27 [May 1937]. Corpus Christi.
During prayer, I heard these words: My daughter, let your heart be filled with joy. I, the Lord, am with you. Fear nothing. You are in My heart. At that moment, I knew the great majesty of God, and I understood that nothing could be compared with one single perception of God. Outward greatness dwindles like a speck of dust before one act of a deeper knowledge of God.
1134 The Lord has poured such a depth of peace into my soul that nothing will disturb it any more. Despite everything that goes on around me, I am not deprived of my peace for a moment. Even if the whole world were crumbling, it would not disturb the depth of the silence which is within me and in which God rests. All events, all the various things which happen are under His foot.
1135 This deeper knowledge of God gives me full liberty and spiritual freedom, and nothing can disturb my close union with Him, not even the angelic powers. I feel that I am great when I am united to God. What happiness it is to have the consciousness of God in one‟s heart and to live in close intimacy with Him.
1136 When the procession from Borek196 came to our house, carrying Him who was to be reposed in our chapel, I heard a voice coming from the Host: Here is My repose. During Benediction, Jesus gave me to know that soon a solemn moment would take place on this very spot. I am pleased to rest in your heart and nothing will stop Me from granting your graces. This greatness of God floods my soul, and I drown in Him, I lose myself in Him, I am melting away in Him……
1137 (37) May 30, . I am dying of yearning for God today. This longing fills all my soul. How very much I feel I am in exile. O Jesus, when will the longed-for moment come?
1138 May 31. My tormented soul finds aid nowhere but in You, O Living Host. I place all my trust in Your merciful heart. I am waiting patiently for Your word, Lord.
1139 Oh, what pain it causes my heart when I see a nun who has not the religious spirit! How can one be pleasing to God when one is inflated with pride and self-love under the pretense of striving for God‟s glory, while in fact one is seeking one‟s own glory? When I see such a thing, it gives me very great pain. How can such a soul be united closely with God? Union with the Lord is out of the question here.
1140 June 1, 1937. Today, the Corpus Christi procession197 took place. At the first altar, a flame issued from the Host and pierced my heart, and I heard a voice, Here is My resting place. Ardor burst into flame in my heart. I felt that I am transformed completely into Him.
1141 In the evening, He gave me to understand how fleeting all earthly things are, and [how] everything that appears great disappears like smoke, and does not give the soul freedom, but weariness. Happy the soul that understands these things and with only one foot touches the earth. My repose is to be united with You; everything else tires me. Oh, how
much I feel I am in exile! I see that no one understands my interior life. You alone understand me, You who are hidden in my heart and yet are eternally alive.
1142 (38) June 4. Today is the Feast of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. During Holy Mass, I was given the knowledge of the Heart of Jesus and of the nature of the fire of love with which He burns for us and of how He is an Ocean of Mercy. Then I heard a voice: Apostle of My mercy, proclaim to the whole world My unfathomable mercy. Do not be discouraged by the difficulties you encounter in proclaiming My mercy. These difficulties that affect you so painfully are needed for your sanctification and as evidence that this work is Mine. My daughter, be diligent in writing down every sentence I tell you concerning My mercy, because this is meant for a great number of souls who will profit from it.
1143 + During Adoration, the Lord gave me a deeper knowledge of matters connected with this work.
1144 Today, I asked the Lord‟s pardon for all the offenses committed in our convents from which His divine Heart suffers.
1145 + June 6, . First Sunday of the month. Today I made my monthly retreat.
A light from the morning meditation: Whatever You do with me, Jesus, I will always love You, for I am Yours. Little matter whether You leave me here or put me somewhere else; I am always Yours.
It is with love that I abandon myself to Your most wise decrees, O God, and Your will, O Lord, is my daily nourishment. You, who know the beatings of my heart, know that it beats for You alone, my Jesus. Nothing can quench my longing for You. I am dying for You, Jesus. When will You take me into Your dwelling place [cf. Jn. 14:1-3]?
1146 (39) Let the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy. My daughter, write about My mercy towards tormented souls. Souls that make an appeal to My mercy delight Me. To such souls I grant even more graces than they ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Write: before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice…..
1147 When once I felt hurt because of a certain thing and complained to the Lord, Jesus answered, My daughter, why do you attach such importance to the teaching and the talk of people? I Myself want to teach you; that is why I arrange things so that you cannot attend those conferences. In a single moment, I will bring you to know more than others will acquire through many years of toil.
1148 June 20, . We resemble God most when we forgive our neighbors. God is Love, Goodness, and Mercy….
Every soul, and especially the soul of every religious, should reflect My mercy. My Heart overflows with compassion and mercy for all. The heart of My beloved must 264
resemble Mine; from her heart must spring the fountain of My mercy for souls; otherwise I will not acknowledge her as Mine.
1149 (40) + On several occasions, I have learned how some religious defend their own glory under the pretext of being concerned for the glory of God, whereas it is not a question of the glory of God, but of glory of self. O Jesus, how painful this has been for me! What secrets the day of Your judgment will bring to light! How can one steal God‟s gifts?
1150 Today, I experienced a good deal of sorrow because of a certain person, a lay person, that is. On the basis of one true thing, she said many things which were fictitious. And because they were taken to be true and spread around the whole house, when the news reached my ears, my heart felt a twinge of pain. How can one abuse the goodness of others like that? But I resolved not to say a word in my defense and to show even greater kindness toward that person. I became aware, however, that I was not strong enough to bear this calmly, because the matter lingered on for weeks. When I saw the storm building up and the wind beginning to blow sand straight into my eyes, I went before the Blessed Sacrament and said to the Lord, “Lord Jesus, I ask You to give me the strength of Your actual grace, because I feel that I will not manage to survive this struggle. Shield me with Your breast.”
Then I heard the words, Do not fear; I am with you. When I left the altar, an extraordinary peace and power filled my soul, and the storm that was raging broke against my soul as against a rock; and the foam of the storm fell on those who had raised it. Oh, how good is the Lord, who will reward each one according to his deed! Let every soul beg for the help of actual grace, as sometimes ordinary grace is not enough.
1151 (41) + When pain overwhelms my soul,
And the horizon darkens like night,
And the heart is torn with the torment of suffering,
Jesus Crucified, You are my strength.
When the soul, dimmed with pain,
Exerts itself in battle without respite,
And the heart is in agony and torment,
Jesus Crucified, You are the hope of my salvation.
And so the days pass,
As the soul bathes in a sea of bitterness,
And the heart dissolves in tears,
Jesus Crucified, you shine for me like the dawn.
And when the cup of bitterness brims over,
And all things conspire against her,
And the soul goes down to the Garden of Olives,
Jesus Crucified, in You is my defense.
When the soul, conscious of its innocence,
Accepts these dispensations from God,
The heart can then repay hurts with love.
Jesus Crucified, transform my weakness into omnipotence. 265
1152 It is no easy thing to bear sufferings joyfully, especially those which are unmerited. Fallen nature rebels, and although the intellect and will are above suffering, because they are able to do good to those who inflict suffering on them, nevertheless the emotions raise a lot of noise and, like restless spirits, attack the intellect and will. But when they see they cannot do anything by themselves, they quiet down and submit to the intellect and will. Like some kind of hideousness, (42) they rush in and stir up a row, bent on making one obey them alone so long as they are not curbed by the intellect and will.
1153 June 23, . As I was praying before the Most Blessed Sacrament, my physical sufferings ceased suddenly, and I heard this voice in my soul: You see, I can give you everything in one moment. I am not constrained by any law.
June 24. After Holy Communion, I heard these words: Know, My daughter, that in one moment I can give you everything that is needed for the fulfillment of this task. After these words, an extraordinary light remained in my soul, and all God‟s demands seemed to me to be so simple that even a little child could carry them out.
1154 [June] 27. Today, I saw the convent of the new Congregation. It was a large ad spacious building. I went from room to room, observing everything, I saw that God‟s Providence had provided for all that was necessary. The persons living in this convent were still wearing lay clothes, but a thoroughly religious spirit reigned there, and I was organizing everything just as the Lord wanted. All of a sudden, I heard a rebuke from one of our sisters, “Sister, how can you carry out such works?” I answered that it was not I, but the Lord working through me, and that I had the authorization for everything. During Mass, I received light and profound understanding concerning this whole work, and not a shadow of a doubt remained in my soul.
1155 (43) The Lord gave me knowledge of His will under three aspects, so to speak, but it all comes down to one.198
The first is that souls separated from the world will burn as an offering before God‟s throne and beg for mercy for the whole world…. And by their entreaties they will obtain blessings for priests, and through their prayers prepare the world for the final coming of Jesus.
1156 The second is prayer joined to the act of mercy. In particular, they will defend the souls of children against the spirit of evil. Prayer and merciful deeds are all that will be required of these souls, and even the poorest persons can be admitted to their number. And in this egoistic world they will try to rouse up love, the mercy of Jesus.
1157 The third is prayer and deeds of mercy, without any obligation of taking vows. But by doing this, these persons will have a share in all the merits and privileges of the whole [congregation]. Everyone in the world can belong to this group.
1158 A member of this group ought to perform at least one act of mercy a day; at least one, but there can be many more, for such deeds can easily be carried out by anyone, even the very poorest. For there are three ways of performing an act of mercy: the merciful word, by forgiving and by comforting; secondly, if you can offer no word, then pray – that too is
mercy; and thirdly, deeds of mercy. And when the Last Day comes, we shall be judged from this, and on this basis we shall receive the eternal verdict.
1159 God‟s floodgates have been opened for us. Let us want to take advantage of them before the day of God‟s justice arrives. And that will be a dreadful day!
1160 (44) When once I asked the Lord Jesus how He could tolerate so many sins and crimes and not punish them, the Lord answered me, I have eternity for punishing [these], and so I am prolonging the time of mercy for the sake of [sinners]. But woe to them if they do not recognize this time of My visitation. My daughter, secretary of My mercy, your duty is not only to write about and proclaim My mercy, but also to beg for this grace for them, so that they too may glorify My mercy.
1161 Today, my soul suffered such agony that I began to complain to the Lord Jesus, “Jesus, how can You leave me alone? I cannot take even one step forward by myself. You have taken my confessor away, and You Yourself are hiding from me. Surely, You know, Jesus, that of myself I know nothing but how to waste Your graces. Jesus, You must arrange things so that Father Andrasz will return.” But the anguish persisted.
1162 It occurred to me to go to some priest and tell him of my anguish as well as some various inspirations, that he might resolve them for me; and I shared this idea with Mother Superior [Irene]. Mother replied, “I understand, Sister, that you are going through a difficult time, but at present, I really do not know of any priest who would be suitable for you. At any rate, Father Andrasz will be returning soon. So, for now, go and tell everything to the lord Jesus.”
1163 When I went to talk with the Lord for a while, I heard a voice in my soul: My – I will not give you the grace to reveal yourself to someone else, and even if you did bare yourself, I will not give that priest the grace needed to understand you. At this time, it is My desire that you put up with yourself patiently. (45) My daughter, it is not My will that you should tell everybody about the gifts I have granted you. I have entrusted you to the care of the friend of My Heart, and under his direction your soul will bloom. I have given him light to recognize My life in your soul.
1164 My daughter, when I was before Herod, I obtained a grace for you; namely, that you would be able to rise above human scorn and follow faithfully in My footsteps. Be silent when they do not want to acknowledge your truth, because it is then that you speak more eloquently.
1165 Know this, My daughter: if you strive for perfection you will sanctify many souls; and if you do not strive for sanctity, by the same token, many souls will remain imperfect. Know that their perfection will depend on your perfection, and the greater part of the responsibility for these souls will fall on you.
1166 Then He said to me, Do not fear, My child; but remain faithful only to My grace…..
1167 Satan has admitted to me that I am the object of his hatred. He said that “a thousand souls do me less harm than you do when you speak of the great mercy of the Almighty One. The greatest sinners regain confidence and return to God, and I lose everything. But what is more, you persecute me personally with that unfathomable mercy of the
Almighty One.” I took note of the great hatred Satan has for the Mercy of God. He does not want to acknowledge that God is good.
1168 (46) June 29, 1937. During breakfast today, Father Andrasz greeted the whole community by telephone. He is already back [from Rome], and this very afternoon he came to see us. The professed sisters, the novices, and both groups of students assembled in the quadrangle [the girls‟ playground in front of the building] and waited for our dear Father. The children welcomed him with songs and poems, and then we asked him to tell us about Rome and the many beautiful things he had seen there. Ho spoke for over two hours and, because of this, there was no time left to talk in private.
1169 Today, my soul entered into close union with the Lord. He made known to me how I should always abandon myself to His holy will: In one moment, I can give you more than you are able to desire.
1170 June 30, 1937. Today, the Lord said to me, I have wanted to exalt this Congregation many times, but I am unable to do so because of its pride. Know, My daughter, that I do not grant My graces to proud souls, and I even take away from them the graces I have granted.
1171 Today Sister Jolanta199 asked me to make an agreement with her; she will pray for me, and I am to pray for the girls in her class in Vilnius. As for me, I always pray for our work, but I have resolved to pray for the class in Vilnius for two months, and Sister Jolanta will say three Hail Marys to the Incarnate Word every day for the intention that I might profit from God‟s grace. Our friendship has deepened.
1172 (47) July 1, 1937. The month of July.
Today during the Angelus, the Lord gave me an understanding of God‟s incomprehensible love for people. He lifts us up to His very Godhead. His only motives are love and fathomless mercy. Though You make known the mystery to us through an angel, You Yourself carry it out.
1173 In spite of the profound peace my soul is enjoying, I am struggling continuously, and it is often a hard-fought battle for me to walk faithfully along my path; that is, the path which the Lord Jesus wants me to follow. And my path is to be faithful to the will of God in all things and at all times, especially by being faithful to inner inspirations in order to be a receptive instrument in God‟s hands for the carrying out of the work of His fathomless mercy.
1174 (48) July 4, 1937. First Sunday of the month.
This evening, I prepared with great care and prayed long to the Holy Spirit that that He might deign to grant me His light and take me under His special guidance; [I prayed] also to Our Lady, to my Guardian Angel, and to our patron saints.200
1175 Fruit of the meditation.
Whatever Jesus did, He did well. He went along, doing good. His manner was full of goodness and mercy. His steps were guided by compassion. Toward His enemies He showed goodness, kindness, and understanding, and to those in need help and consolation.
I have resolved to mirror faithfully these traits of Jesus in myself during this month, even if this costs me much.
1176 During Adoration, I heard a voice in my soul: These efforts of yours, My daughter, are pleasing to Me; they are the delight of My Heart. I see every movement of your heart with which you worship Me.
1177 Particular examen.
Continuation of the same: to unite myself with the merciful Christ. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, I will entreat the heavenly Father for the whole world. A point of the rule: strict observance of silence.
I must probe the depth of my being and thank God for everything, uniting myself with Jesus. With Him, in Him, and through Him, I give glory to God.
1178 (49) O Lord, my Love, I thank You for this day on which You have allowed me to draw a wealth of graces from the fountain of Your unfathomable mercy. O Jesus, not only today, but at every moment, I draw from Your unfathomable mercy everything that the soul and body could want.
1179 July 7, 1937. In times o doubt; that is, when the soul is weak, let it ask Jesus Himself to act. Although it knows that it should act by the grace of God, nevertheless, at certain times, it is better for it to leave all action to God.
1180 June [July] 15, 1937. Once, I learned that I was to be transferred to another house. My knowledge of this was purely interior. At the same time, I heard a voice in my soul: Do not be afraid, My daughter; it is My will that you should remain here. Human plans will be thwarted, since they must conform to My will.
1181 When I was close to the Lord, He said to me, Why are you afraid to begin the work which I have commanded you to carry out? “Why do You leave me on my own at such times, Jesus, and why do I not feel Your presence?” My daughter, even though you do not perceive Me in the most secret depths of your heart, you still cannot say that I am not there. I only remove from you the awareness of My presence, and that should not be an obstacle to the carrying out of My will. I do this to achieve My unfathomable ends, which you will know of later on. My daughter, know without doubt, and once and for all, that only mortal sin drives Me out of a soul, and nothing else.
1182 (50) + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop me from granting you graces. Your misery does not hinder my mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to My mercy; [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I 269
want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls – no one have I excluded!
1183 O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without the will of God.
God of unfathomable mercy, embrace the whole world and pour Youself out upon us through the merciful Heart of Jesus.
1184 On an earlier occasion.
In the evening, I saw the Lord Jesus upon the cross. From His hands, feet, and side the Most Sacred Blood was flowing. After some time, Jesus said to me, All this is for the salvation of souls. Consider well, My daughter, what you are doing for their salvation. I answered, “Jesus, when I look at Your suffering, I see that I am doing next to nothing for the salvation of souls.” And the Lord said to me, Know, My daughter, that your silent day-to-day martyrdom in complete submission to My will ushers many souls into heaven. And when it seems to you that your suffering exceeds your strength, contemplate My wounds, (51) and you will rise above human scorn and judgment. Meditation on My passion will help you rise above all things. I understood many things I had been unable to comprehend before.
1185 July 9, 1937. This evening, one of the deceased sisters came and asked me for one day of fasting and to offer all my [spiritual] exercises on that day for her. I answered that I would.
1186 From early morning on the following day, I offered everything for her intention. During Holy Mass, I had a brief experience of her torment. I experienced such intense hunger for God that I seemed to be dying of the desire to become united with Him. This lasted only a short time, but I understood what the longing of the souls in purgatory was like.
1187 Immediately after Holy Mass, I asked Mother Superior‟s permission to fast, but I did not receive it because of my illness. When I entered the chapel, I heard these words: “If you had fasted, Sister, I would not have gotten relief until the evening, but for the sake of your obedience, which prevented you from fasting, I obtained this relief at once. Obedience has great power.” After these words I heard: “May God reward you.”
1188 I often pray for Poland, but I see that God is very angry with it because of its ingratitude.201 I exert all the strength of my soul to defend it. I constantly remind God of the promises of His mercy. When I see His anger, I throw myself trustingly into the abyss of His mercy, and I plunge all Poland in it, and then He cannot use His justice. My country, how much you cost me! There is no day in which I do not pray for you.
1189 (52) (A sentence from Saint Vincent de Paul: “The Lord always sets His hand to a task when He removes all human means and orders us to do a thing that exceeds our strength.”)
1190 + Jesus. – From all My wounds, like from streams, mercy flows for souls, but the wound in My Heart is the fountain of unfathomable mercy. From this fountain spring all graces for souls. The flames of compassion burn Me. I desire greatly to pour them out upon souls. Speak to the whole world about My mercy.
1191 As long as we live, the love of God grows in us. Until we die, we ought to strive for the love of God. I have learned and experienced that souls living in love are distinguished in this: that they are greatly enlightened concerning the things of God, both in their own souls and in the souls of others. And simple souls, without an education, are outstanding for their knowledge.
1192 At the fourteenth station. I get the strange feeling that Jesus is going into the ground.
When my soul is in anguish, I think only in this way: Jesus is good and full of mercy, and even if the ground were to give way under my feet, I would not cease to trust in Him.
1193 Today, I have heard these words: My daughter, delight of My heart, it is with pleasure that I look into your soul. I bestow many graces only because of you. I also withhold My punishments only because of you. You restrain Me, and I cannot vindicate the claims of My justice. You bind My hands with your love.
1194 (53) July 13, 1937. Today, Jesus has given me light as to how I should behave toward one of the sisters, who had asked me about many spiritual matters concerning which she had doubts. But basically this was not the question; she only wanted to find out my opinion in these matters in order to have something to say about me to the other sisters. Oh, if at least she had repeated the same words that I had spoken to her without distortions and additions! Jesus put me on my guard in respect to her. I resolved to pray for her, because only prayer can enlighten that soul.
1195 O my Jesus, nothing can lower my ideals, that is, the love which I have for You. Although the path is very thorny, I do not fear to go ahead. Even if a hailstorm of persecutions covers me; even if my friends forsake me, even if all things conspire against me, and the horizon grows dark; even if a raging storm breaks out, and I feel I am quite alone and must brave it all; still, fully at peace, I will trust in Your mercy. O my God, and my hope will not be disappointed.
1196 Today, when a certain sister who was on duty approached me in the refectory [the sisters‟ dining room, where assigned sisters serve at the time of common meals], I experienced severe suffering in the places of the Wounds. I was given to know the state of her soul. I prayed much for her.
1197 Sudden calming of a storm. There was a terrible storm last night. I bowed my face low to the ground and started to say the Litany of the Saints. Towards the end of the Litany, such drowsiness came over me that I could in no way finish the prayer. Then I got up and said to the Lord, “Jesus, (54) calm the storm, for Your child is unable to pray any longer, and I am heavy with sleep.” After these words, I threw the window wide open, not even securing it with hooks. Sister N. [probably sister Fabiola Pawluk] then said to me, “Sister, what are you doing! The wind will surely tear the window loose!” I told her to sleep in peace, and at once the storm completely subsided. The next day, the sisters talked about
the sudden calming of the storm, not knowing what this meant. I said nothing, but I merely thought within myself: Jesus and little Faustina know what it means……
1198 The 20th [of July, 1937]. I learned today that I am to go to Rabka.202 I was not to leave until August 5, but I asked Mother Superior [Irene] to let me go at once. I have not seen Father Andrasz at all, and I asked her to let me leave as soon as possible. Mother Superior was a little surprised that I wanted to leave so soon, but I did not explain the reason for my wanting to do so. That will remain a secret forever. In these circumstances, I have made one resolution which I am going to keep.
1199 [July] 29. I am to leave for Rabka today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey. But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and had no one [to turn to]. I asked Jesus to be with me. Than I felt a tiny ray of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace, the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said “Your will be done, for everything is possible to You.” When I was on the train and gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began to surround me with their warmth, my sufferings redoubled.
1200 I would have liked to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a word, (55) to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me comfort, and even if I had wanted to say something about myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God – and that has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the greater glory of god. My communing is with the angels [cf. Mt. 18:10; Ex. 23:20].
1201 I feel so unwell here, however, that I am obliged to stay in bed. I feel strange sharp pains all through my chest; I cannot even move my hand. One night, I had to lie quite motionless, as it seemed to me that if I budged, everything in my lungs would tear. The night was endless. I united myself to Jesus Crucified, and I implored the heavenly Father on behalf of sinners. It is said that maladies of the lungs do not cause such sharp pains, but I suffer these sharp pains constantly. My health has deteriorated so much here that I must remain in bed, and Sister N. [probably Sister Helen203] says I will not improve, because the climate of Rabka is not good for every sick person.
1202 I could not even go to Holy Mass or receive Holy Communion today but, amidst the sufferings of body and soul, I kept on repeating, “May the Lord‟s will be done. I know that Your bounty is without limit.” Then I heard an angel who sang out my whole life history and everything it comprised. I was surprised, but also strengthened.
1203 Saint Joseph urged me to have a constant devotion to him. He himself told me to recite three prayers [the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory be] and the Memorare204 once every day. He looked at me with great kindness and gave me to know how much he is supporting this work [of mercy]. He has promised me this special help and protection. I recite the requested prayers every day and feel his special protection.
(56) August 1, 1937. One-day retreat. 272
1204 A retreat of suffering. O Jesus, in these days of suffering, I am not capable of any kind of prayer. The oppression of my body and soul has increased. O my Jesus, You do see that Your child is on the decline. I am not forcing myself further, but simply submitting my will to the will of Jesus. O Jesus, You are always Jesus to me.
1205 When I went to confession, I did not even know how to confess. However, the priest [probably Father Casimir Ratkiewicz205] recognized the condition of my soul at once and said to me, “Despite everything, you are on the way to salvation; you are on the right path, but God may leave your soul in this darkness and obscurity until death, and the former light may never return. But in all things abandon yourself to the will of God.”
1206 Today, I started a novena to Our Lady of the Assumption for three intentions: first, that I may see the Reverend Dr. Sopocko; second, that God would hasten this work; and third, for the intention of my country.
1207 August 10. Today I am returning to Cracow, in the company of one of the sisters. My soul is shrouded in suffering. I am continually uniting myself to Him by an act of the will. He is my power and strength.
1208 May You be blessed, O God, for everything You send me. Nothing under the sun happens without Your will. I cannot penetrate Your secrets with regard to myself, but I press my lips to the chalice you offer me.
1209 (57) Jesus, I trust in You.
Novena to The Divine Mercy206
Which Jesus instructed me to write down and make before the Feast of Mercy. It begins on Good Friday.
I desire that during these nine days you bring souls to the fountain of My mercy, that they may draw therefrom strength and refreshment and whatever grace they need in the hardships of life, and especially at the hour of death.
On each day you will bring to My Heart a different group of souls, and you will immerse them in this ocean of My mercy, and I will bring all these souls into the house of My Father. You will do this in this life and in the next. I will deny nothing to any soul whom you will bring to the fount of My mercy. On each day you will beg My Father, on the strength of My bitter Passion, for graces for these souls.
I answered, “Jesus, I do not know how to make this novena or which souls to bring first into Your Most Compassionate heart.” Jesus replied that He would tell me which souls to bring each day into His Heart.
1210 Today, bring to Me all mankind, especially all sinners, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me.
1211 Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins but upon our trust which (58) we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from it. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.
Oh omnipotence of Divine Mercy,
Salvation of sinful people,
You re a sea of mercy and compassion;
You aid those who entreat You with humility.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate heart of Jesus. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy forever and ever. Amen.
1212 Today bring to me the souls of priests and religious, and immerse them in My unfathomable mercy. It was they who gave Me the strength to endure My bitter Passion. Through them, as through channels, My mercy flows out upon mankind.
1213 Most Merciful Jesus, from whom comes all that is good, increase Your grace in us, that we may perform worthy works of mercy, and that all who see them may glorify the Father of Mercy who is in heaven.
The Fountain of God‟s love
Dwells in pure hearts,
Bathed in the Sea of Mercy,
Radiant as stars, bright as the dawn.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze (59) upon the company [of chosen ones] in Your vineyard – upon the souls of priests and religious; and endow them with the strength of Your blessing. For the love of the Heart of your Son in which they are enfolded, impart to them Your power and light, that they may be able to guide others in the way of salvation, and with one voice sing praise to Your boundless mercy for ages without end. Amen.
1214 Today bring to Me all devout and faithful souls, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. These souls brought Me consolation on the Way of the Cross. They were that drop of consolation in the midst of an ocean of bitterness.
1215 Most Merciful Jesus, from the treasury of Your mercy You impart Your graces in great abundance to each and all. Receive us into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart and never let us escape from it. We beg this of You by that most wondrous love for the heavenly Father with which Your Heart burns so fiercely.
The miracles of mercy are impenetrable.
Neither the sinner nor just one will fathom them. 274
When You cast upon us an eye of pity,
You draw us all closer to Your love.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon faithful souls, as upon the inheritance of your Son. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, grant them Your blessing and surround them with Your constant protection. Thus may they never fail in love or lose the treasure of the holy faith, but rather, with all the hosts of Angels and Saints, may they glorify your boundless mercy for endless ages. Amen.
(60) Fourth Day
1216 Today bring to Me the pagans and those who do not yet know Me. I was thinking also of them during My bitter Passion, and their future zeal comforted My Heart. Immerse them in the ocean of My mercy.
1217 Most compassionate Jesus, You are the Light of the whole world. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of pagans who as yet do not know You. Let the rays of Your grace enlighten them that they, too, together with us, may extol Your wonderful mercy; and do not let them escape from the abode which is Your Most Compassionate Heart.
May the light of Your love
Enlighten the souls in darkness;
Grant that these souls will know You
And, together with us, praise Your mercy.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of pagans and of those who as yet do not know You, but who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate heart of Jesus. Draw them to the light of the Gospel. These souls do not know what great happiness it is to love You. Grant that they, too, may extol the generosity of Your mercy for endless ages. Amen.
1218 Today bring to Me the souls of heretics and schismatics, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. During My bitter Passion they tore at My Body and Heart; that is, My Church. As they return to unity with the Church, My wounds heal, and in this way they alleviate My Passion.
1219 Most Merciful Jesus, Goodness Itself, You do not refuse light to those who seek it of You. Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of heretics and schismatics. Draw them by Your light into the unity of the Church, and do not let them escape from the abode of Your Most Compassionate heart; but bring it about that they, too, come to extol the generosity of Your mercy.
(61) Even for those who have torn the garment
of Your unity,
A fount of mercy flows from Your Heart.
The omnipotence of Your mercy, Oh God,
Can lead these souls also out of error. 275
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of heretics and schismatics, who have squandered Your blessings and misused Your graces by obstinately persisting in their errors. Do not look upon their errors, but upon the love of Your own Son and upon His bitter Passion, which He underwent for their sake, since they, too, are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Bring it about that they also may glorify Your great mercy for endless ages. Amen.
1220 Today bring to me the meek and humble souls and the souls of little children, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who would keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. Only the humble soul is able to receive My grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence.
1221 (62) Most Merciful Jesus, You yourself have said, “Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart.” Receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart all meek and humble souls and the souls of little children. These souls send all heaven into ecstasy and they are the heavenly Father‟s favorites. They are a sweet-smelling bouquet before the throne of God; God Himself takes delight in their fragrance. These souls have a permanent abode in Your Most Compassionate Heart, O Jesus, and they unceasingly sing out a hymn of love and mercy.
1222 A truly gentle and humble soul
Already here on earth the air of paradise breathes,
And in the fragrance of her humble heart
The Creator Himself delights.
1223 Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon meek and humble souls, and upon the souls of little children who are enfolded in the abode which is the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls bear the closest resemblance to Your Son. Their fragrance rises from the earth and reaches Your very throne. Father of mercy and of all goodness, I beg You by the love You bear these souls and by the delight You take in them: Bless the whole world, that all souls together may sing out the praises of your mercy for endless ages. Amen.
1224 Today bring to me the souls who especially venerate and glorify My mercy, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls sorrowed most over My Passion and entered most deeply into My Spirit. They are living images of My Compassionate heart. These souls will shine with a special brightness in the next life. Not one of them will go into the fire of hell. I shall particularly defend each one of them at the hour of death.
1225 (63) Most Merciful Jesus, whose Heart is Love Itself, receive into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls of those who particularly extol and venerate the greatness of Your mercy. These souls are mighty with the very power of God Himself. In the midst of all afflictions and adversities they go forward, confident of Your mercy. 276
These souls are united to Jesus and carry all mankind on their shoulders. These souls will not be judged severely, but Your mercy will embrace them as they depart from this life.
A soul who praises the goodness of her Lord
Is especially loved by Him.
She is always close to the living fountain
And draws graces from Mercy Divine.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls who glorify and venerate Your greatest attribute, that of Your fathomless mercy, and who are enclosed in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. These souls are a living Gospel; their hands are full of deeds of mercy, and their spirit, overflowing with joy, sings a canticle of mercy to You, O Most High! I beg You O God: Show them Your mercy according to the hope and trust they have placed in You. Let there be accomplished in them the promise of Jesus, who said to them, I Myself will defend as My own glory, during their lifetime, and especially at the hour of their death, those souls who will venerate My fathomless mercy.
1226 Today bring to Me the souls who are in the prison of Purgatory, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. Let the torrents of My Blood cool down their scorching flames. All these souls are greatly loved by Me. They are making retribution to My justice. It is in your power to bring them relief. Draw all the indulgences from the treasury (64) of My Church and offer them on their behalf. Oh, if you only knew the torments they suffer, you would continually offer for them the alms of the spirit and pay off their debt to My justice.
1227 Most Merciful Jesus, You Yourself have said that You desire mercy; so I bring into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart the souls in Purgatory, souls who are very dear to You, and yet, who must make retribution to Your justice. May the streams of Blood and Water which gushed forth from Your Heart put out the flames of the purifying fire, that in that place, too, the power of Your mercy may be praised.
From that terrible heat of the cleansing fire
Rises a plaint to Your mercy,
And they receive comfort, refreshment, relief
In the stream of mingled Blood and Water.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls suffering in Purgatory, who are enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. I beg You, by the sorrowful Passion of Jesus Your Son, and by all the bitterness with which His most sacred Soul was flooded, manifest Your mercy to the souls who are under Your just scrutiny. Look upon them in no other way than through the Wounds of Jesus, Your dearly beloved Son; for we firmly believe that there is no limit to Your goodness and compassion.
1228 Today bring to Me souls who have become lukewarm, and immerse them in the abyss of My mercy. These souls wound My Heart most painfully. My soul suffered
the most dreadful loathing in the Garden of Olives because of lukewarm souls. They were the reason I cried out: “Father, take this cup away from Me, if it be Your will.” For them, the last hope (65) of salvation is to flee to My mercy.
1229 Most Compassionate Jesus, You are Compassion Itself. I bring lukewarm souls into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart. In this fire of Your pure love let these tepid souls, who like corpses, filled You with such deep loathing, be once again set aflame. O Most Compassionate Jesus, exercise the omnipotence of Your mercy and draw them into the very ardor of Your love; and bestow upon them the gift of holy love, for nothing is beyond Your power.
Fire and ice cannot be joined;
Either the fire dies, or the ice melts.
But by Your mercy, O God,
You can make up for all that is lacking.
Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon lukewarm souls, who are nonetheless enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. Father of Mercy, I beg You by the bitter Passion of Your Son and by His three-hour agony on the Cross; Let them, too, glorify the abyss of Your mercy…..
1230 (66) O day of eternity, O day so long desired,
With thirst and longing, my eyes search you out.
Soon love will tear the veil asunder.
And you will be my salvation.
O day most beautiful, moment incomparable,
When for the first time I shall see my God,
The Bridegroom of my soul and Lord of lords,
And fear will not restrain my soul.
O day most solemn, O day of brightness,
When the soul will know God in His omnipotence
And drown totally in His love,
Knowing the miseries of exile are o‟er.
O happy day, O blessed day,
When my heart will burn for You with fire eternal,
For even now I feel Your presence, though through the veil.
Through life and death, O Jesus, You are my rapture and delight.
O day, of which I dreamed through all my life,
Waiting long for You, O God,
For it is You alone whom I desire.
You are the one and only of my heart; all else is naught.
O day of delight, day of eternal bliss,
God of great majesty, my beloved Spouse,
You know that nothing will satisfy a virgin heart.
On Your tender Heart I rest my brow. 278
[End of Notebook Three] 279
Of the Diary of Sister Faustina
1231 Today Jesus came to live in my heart,
He descended from His throne on high,
The great Lord, the Creator of all things;
And He came to me in the form of bread.
O Eternal God, in my bosom enclosed,
Possessing You, I possess all Heaven,
And with the Angels I sing to You: Holy,
I live for Your glory alone.
Not with a Seraph, do You unite Yourself, O god,
But with a wretched man
Who can do nothing without You;
But to him You are ever merciful.
My heart is Your abode,
O King of Eternal Glory;
Rule in my heart and be Lord,
As in a palace of splendor untold.
O great, incomprehensible God,
Who had deigned to abase Yourself so,
Humbly I adore you
And beg You in Your goodness to save me.
1232 O sweet Mother of God,
I model my life on You;
You are for me the bright dawn;
In You I lose myself, enraptured.
O Mother, Immaculate Virgin,
In You the divine ray is reflected,
Midst storms, „tis You who teach me to love the Lord,
O my shield and defense from the foe.
Cracow, August 10, 1937.
1233 Sr. Mary Faustina
of the Blessed Sacrament
O Sacred Host, fountain of divine sweetness,
You give strength to my soul;
O You are the Omnipotent One, who took flesh of the Virgin,
You come to my heart, in secret,
Beyond reach of the groping senses. 281
Cracow, August 10, 1937
1234 All for You, Jesus. I desire to adore Your mercy with every beat of my heart and, to the extent that I am able, to encourage souls to trust in that mercy, as You Yourself have commanded me, O Lord.
1235 In my heart, in my soul, there is a dark night. My spirit has come up against an impenetrable wall that hides God from me. But this darkness is not of my doing. Strange indeed is this torture of which I fear to write in full. But even in this state, I am trying to be faithful to You. O my Jesus. Always and in all things, my heart beats for You alone.
1236 (4) August 10, 1937. I came back today from Rabka to Cracow. I feel very ill. Only Jesus knows how much I am suffering. During these days, I have very much resembled Jesus Crucified. I have armed myself with patience in order to explain to each sister why I was not able to stay there: that is, because my health had become worse, even though I knew very well that certain sisters would inquire, not out of sympathy for my sufferings, but in order to add to them.
1237 O Jesus, what darkness is enveloping me and what nothingness is penetrating me. But, my Jesus, do not leave me alone; grant me the grace of faithfulness. Although I cannot penetrate the mystery of God‟s visitation, it is in my power to say: Your will be done.
1238 August 12. On passing through Cracow, Rev. Father Sopocko paid me a short visit today. I had wanted to see him, and god fulfilled my desire. (5) This priest is a great soul, entirely filled with God. My joy was very great, and I thanked God for this great grace, because it was for the greater glory of God that I wanted to see him.
1239 O living Host, O hidden Jesus. You see the condition of my soul. Of myself, I am unable to utter Your Holy Name. I cannot bring forth from my hart the fire of love but, kneeling at Your feet, I cast upon the Tabernacle the gaze of my soul, a gaze of faithfulness. As for You, You are ever the same, while within my soul a change takes place. I trust that the time will come when You will unveil Your countenance, and Your child will again see Yo9ur sweet face. I am astonished, Jesus, that You can hide Yourself from me for so long and that You can restrain the enormous love You have for me. In the dwelling of my heart, I am listening and waiting for Your coming, O only Treasure of my heart!
1240 (6) The Lord Jesus greatly protects His representatives on earth. How closely He is united with them; and He orders me to give priority to their opinion over His. I have come to know the great intimacy which exists between Jesus and the priest. Jesus defends whatever the priest says, and often complies with his wishes, and sometimes makes His own relationship with a soul depending on the priest‟s advice. O Jesus, through a special grace, I have come to know very clearly to what extent You have shared your power and mystery with them, more so than with the Angels. I rejoice in this, for it is all for my good.
1241 + O my Jesus, when someone is unkind and unpleasant toward us, it is difficult enough to bear this kind of suffering. But this is very little in comparison to a suffering which I
cannot bear; namely, that which I experience when someone exhibits kindness towards me and then lays snares at my feet at every step (7) I take. What great will power is necessary to love such a soul for God‟s sake. Many a time one has to be heroic in loving such a soul as God demands. If contact with that person were infrequent, it would be easier to endure, but when one lives in close contact with the person and experiences this at each step, this demands a very great effort.
1242 My Jesus, penetrate me through and through so that I might be able to reflect You in my whole life. Divinize me so that my deeds may have supernatural value. Grant that I may have love, compassion and mercy for every soul without exception. O my Jesus, each of Your saints reflects one of Your virtues; I desire to reflect Your compassionate heart, full of mercy; I want to glorify it. Let Your mercy, O Jesus, be (8) impressed upon my heart and soul like a seal, and this will be my badge in this and the future life. Glorifying Your mercy is the exclusive task of my life.
August 15, 1937. Father Andrasz‟ instructions.
1243 “These times of dryness and stark awareness of one‟s wretchedness, which God has permitted, allow the soul to know how little it can do by itself. They will teach you how much you should appreciate God‟s graces. Secondly, faithfulness in all exercises and duties, faithfulness in everything, just as in times of joy. Thirdly, as regards the matters in question, be absolutely obedient to the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] although, from time to time, the matter can be brought to his attention, but peacefully. (9) Sometimes, a little bitter truth is necessary.”
At the end of the conversation, I asked the priest to allow me to commune with Jesus as I had done formerly. He answered, “I cannot give orders to the Lord Jesus, but if He Himself draws you to Himself you may follow the attraction. However, always remember to show Him great reverence, for the Lord is great indeed. If you are truly seeking God‟s will in all this and desire to fulfill it, you can be at peace; the Lord will not allow any sort of error. As to the mortifications and sufferings, you will give me an account next time of how you can carry them out. Place yourself in the hands of the Most Holy Mother.”
1244 August 15, 1937. During meditation, God‟s presence pervaded me keenly, and I was aware of the Virgin Mary‟s joy at the moment of Her Assumption Towards the end of the ceremony (10) carried out in honor of the Mother of God, I saw the Virgin Mary, and She said to me, Oh, how very pleased I am with the homage of your love! And at that moment She covered all the sisters of our Congregation with Her mantle. With Her right hand, She clasped Mother General Michael to herself, and with Her left hand She did so to me, while all the sisters were at Her feet, covered with Her mantle. Then the Mother of God said, Everyone who perseveres zealously till death in My Congregation will be spared the fire of purgatory, and I desire that each one distinguish herself by the following virtues: humility and meekness; chastity and love of God and neighbor; compassion and mercy. After these words, the whole Congregation disappeared from my sight, and I remained alone with the Most Holy Mother who instructed me about the will of God and how to (11) apply it to my life, submitting completely to His most holy decrees. It is impossible for one to please God without obeying His holy will. My daughter, I strongly recommend that you faithfully fulfill all God’s wishes, for that is most pleasing in His holy eyes. I very much desire that you distinguish yourself in this faithfulness in accomplishing god’s will. Put the 283
will of God before all sacrifices and holocausts. While the heavenly Mother was talking to me, a deep understanding of this will of god was entering my soul.
1245 My Jesus, delight of my hart, when my soul is filled with Your divinity, I accept sweetness and bitterness with the same equanimity. One and the other will pass away. All that I keep in my soul is the love of God. For this I strive; all else is secondary.
1246 (12) 16 [August 1937]. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus in all His majesty, and He said to me, My daughter, during the weeks when you neither saw Me nor felt My presence, I was more profoundly united to you that at times [when you experienced] ecstasy. And the faithfulness and fragrance of your prayer have reached Me. After these words, my soul became flooded with God‟s consolation. I did not see Jesus, and there was only one word I could utter and that was: “Jesus.” And after pronouncing that Name, my soul was again filled with light and deeper recollection, which lasted uninterruptedly for three days. However, outwardly I could still carry out my usual duties.
My whole being was stirred to its most secret depths. God‟s greatness does not frighten me, but makes me happy. By giving Him glory, I myself am lifted up. On seeing His happiness, I myself am made happy, because (13) all that is in Him flows back upon me.
1247 I came to know of the condition of a certain soul and of what in that soul is displeasing to God. I learn it in the following way: I immediately feel pain in my hands, my feet and my side, in those places where the hands, feet and side of the Savior were pierced. At that same time, I receive knowledge of the soul‟s condition and of the nature of the sin committed.
1248 I experience a desire to make reparation to the Lord Jesus in a way which corresponds [to the offense]. Today I wore a chain belt for seven hours in order to obtain the grace of repentance for that soul. In the seventh hour I felt relief as the soul experienced interiorly the remission of its sin, although it had not yet gone to confession. For sins of the flesh, I mortify the body and fast to the degree that I am permitted. For sins of pride, (14) I pray with my forehead touching the floor. For sins of hatred, I pray and do some good deed for a person whom I find difficult. And thus I make amends according to the nature of the sin of which I am aware.
1249 19 [August 1937]. Today during adoration, the Lord gave me to know how much He desires a soul to distinguish itself by deeds of love. And in spirit I saw how many souls are calling out to us, “Give us God.” And the blood of the Apostles boiled up within me. I will not be stingy with it; I will shed it all to the last drop for immortal souls. Although perhaps God will not demand that in the physical sense, in spirit it is possible and no less meritorious.
1250 Today I realized that I was not to ask for a certain permission, but that I was to respond to this matter as the Mother of God would have me do. For the present, no explanations are (15) necessary; peace has returned to me. I received this inspiration just as I was on my way to make my examination of conscience, and I was very worried because I did not know how to go about it. Divine light can do more in one moment than I, fatiguing myself for several days.
1251 August 22. This morning Saint Barbara, Virgin, visited me and recommended that I offer Holy Communion for nine days on behalf of my country and thus appease God‟s anger. This virgin was wearing a crown made of stars and was holding a sword in her hand. The brilliance of the crown was the same as that of the sword. With her white dress and her flowing hair, she was so beautiful that if I had not already known the Virgin Mary I would have thought that it was She. Now I understand that each virgin has a special beauty all her own; a distinct beauty radiates from each of them.
1252 (16) + August 25, 1937. Today Reverend Father Sopocko arrived and will stay with us until the 30th. I was extremely glad, because only God knows how ardently I wished to see him for the sake of the work God is doing through him, and this, even though the visit had some unpleasant aspects to it as well.
1253 + While he was celebrating Mass, I saw during the elevation the Crucified Lord Jesus, who was disengaging His right arm from the cross, and the light which was coming from the Wound was touching his arm. This happened in the course of three Masses, and I understood that God would give him strength to carry out this work despite difficulties and opposition. This soul, who is pleasing to God, is being crucified by numerous sufferings, but I am not at all surprised, for this is how God treats those He especially loves.
1254 (17) + Today, the 29th, I received permission207 to have a longer conversation with Rev. Dr. Sopocko. I learned that, although there are difficulties, the work is moving ahead, and that the Feast of Mercy is already far advanced. It will not be long now before it becomes a reality, but much prayer is still needed to bring an end to certain difficulties.
1255 “As concerns yourself, Sister, it is good that you are remaining in a state of holy indifference in everything that pertains to the will of God, and that you are better maintaining a state of equilibrium. Please do your best to keep this equanimity. Now, as regards all these matters, you are to depend exclusively on Father Andrasz; I am in complete agreement with him. Do nothing on your own, Sister, but in all matters take counsel from your spiritual director. I beg you to keep your levelheadedness and as great a calm as possible. – One more thing – I am having printed (18) the chaplet which is to be on the back of the image, as well as the invocations that resemble a litany; these too will be placed on the back. Another large image has also been printed, and with it a few pages which contain the Novena to The Divine Mercy.208 Pray, Sister, that this be approved.”
1256 [August] 30. Reverend Father Sopocko left this morning. When I was steeped in a prayer of thanksgiving for the great grace that I had received from God; namely, that of seeing Father, I became united in a special way with the Lord who said to me, He is a priest after My own Heart; his efforts are pleasing to Me. You see, My daughter, that My will must be done and that which I had promised you, I shall do. Through him I spread comfort to suffering and careworn souls. Through him it pleased Me to proclaim the worship of My mercy. (19) And through this work of mercy more souls will come close to Me than otherwise would have, even if he had kept giving absolution day and night for the rest of his life, because by so doing, he would have labored only for as long as he lived; whereas, thanks to this work of mercy, he will be laboring till the end of the world.
1257 I had undertaken to make a novena for the intention of seeing him, but I did not even finish it before God granted me that grace.
1258 O my Jesus, how poorly I took advantage of this grace, but that did not depend on me, though from another point of view, it did so very much.
1259 + During this conversation, I came to know his anguished soul. This crucified soul resembles the Savior. Where he expects, with good reason, to find consolation, he finds the cross. He lives among many friends, but has no one but Jesus. This is how God strips the soul He especially loves.
1260 (20) Today I heard these words: My daughter, be always like a little child towards those who represent Me, otherwise you will not benefit from the graces I bestow on you through them.
1261 September 1, 1937. I saw the Lord Jesus, like a king in great majesty, looking down upon our earth with great severity; but because of his Mother‟s intercession He prolonged the time of His mercy.
1262 September 3. First Friday of the month. During Holy Mass, I became united with God. Jesus gave me to know that even the smallest thing does not happen on earth without His will. After having seen this, my soul entered into an unusual repose; I found myself completely at peace as to the work in its full extent. God can deal with me as He pleases, and I will bless Him for everything.
1263 (21) Up to now, I have been wondering, with some fear, where these inspirations would lead me. My fear increased when the Lord made known to me that I was to leave this Congregation. This is the third year passing by since that time, and my soul has felt, in turns, enthusiasm and an urge to act – and then I have a lot of courage and strength – and then again, when the decisive moment to undertake the work draws near, I feel deserted by God, and because of this an extraordinary fear pervades my soul, and I see that it is not the hour intended by God to initiate the work. These are sufferings about which I don‟t even know how to write. God alone knows what I put up with, day and night. It seems to me that the worst torments of the martyrs would be easier for me to bear than what I am going through, though without the shedding of a drop of blood. But all this is for souls, for souls, Lord……
1264 (22) Act of total abandonment to the will of God, which is for me, love and mercy itself.
Act of Oblation
Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, Your will, Lord, is my food. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor (23) do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself. 286
Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Should You give me health and strength, be blessed; should you confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should you give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of (24) torments, be blessed.
From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord Himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere.
1265 Prayer. O Jesus, stretched out upon the cross, I implore You, give me the grace of doing faithfully the most holy will of Your Father, in all things, always and everywhere. And when this will of God will seem to me very harsh and difficult to fulfill, it is then I beg You, Jesus, may power and strength flow upon me from Your wounds, and may my lips keep repeating, “Your will be done, O Lord.” O Savior of the world, Lover of man‟s salvation, who in such terrible torment and pain forget Yourself to think only of the salvation of souls, O most compassionate Jesus, grant me the grace to forget myself that I may live totally for souls, helping You in the work of salvation, according to the most holy will of Your Father……..
1266 (25) August 5, .209 The Lord let me know how much our dear Mother Superior [Irene] is defending me against…. Not only by prayer but also by deed. Thank You, Jesus, for this grace. It will not go unrequited in my heart; when I am with Jesus, I do not forget about her.
1267 September 6, 1937. Today, I begin a new assignment. I go from the garden to the desert of the gate.210 I went in to talk to the Lord for a while. I asked Him for a blessing and for graces to faithfully carry out the duties entrusted to me. I heard these words: My daughter, I am always with you. I have given you the opportunity to practice deeds of mercy which you will perform according to obedience. You will give Me much pleasure if, each evening, you will speak to Me especially about this task. I felt that Jesus had given me a new grace in relation to my new duties; but, despite this, I have locked myself deeper in His Heart.
1268 (26) Today I felt more ill, but Jesus has given me many more opportunities on this day to practice virtue. It so happened that I was busier than usual, and the sister in charge of the kitchen made it clear to me how irritated she was that I had come late for dinner, although it was quite impossible for me to have come sooner. At any rate, I felt so unwell that I had to ask Mother Superior to allow me to lie down. I went to ask Sister N. to take my place, and again I got a scolding: “What is this, Sister, you‟re so exhausted that you‟re going back to bed again! Confound you with all this lying in bed!” I put up with all that, but that wasn‟t the end. I still had to ask the sister who was in charge of the sick to bring me my meal. When I told her this, she burst out of the chapel into the corridor after me to give me a piece of her mind: “Why on earth are you going to bed, Sister, etc……” I asked her not to bother bringing me anything. (27) I am writing all this very briefly
because it is not my intention to write about such things, and I am doing so merely to dissuade souls from treating others in this way, for this is displeasing to the Lord. In a suffering soul we should see Jesus Crucified, and not a loafer or burden on the community. A soul who suffers with submission to the will of God draws down more blessings on the whole convent than all the working sisters. Poor indeed is a convent where there are no sick sisters. God often grants many and great graces out of regard for the soul who are suffering, and He withholds many punishments solely because of the suffering souls.
1269 O my Jesus, when shall we look upon souls with higher motives in mind? When will our judgments be true? You give us occasions to practice deeds of mercy, and instead we use the occasions to pass judgment. In order to know whether the love of God flourishes in a convent, one must ask how they treat the sick, the disabled, and the infirm who are there.
1270 (28) September 10, . I learned in the course of meditation that the purer the soul, the greater her communion with God on the spiritual level. She pays little heed to the senses and their protests. God is a Spirit, and so I love Him in spirit and in truth.
1271 When I heard how dangerous it was to be at the gate these days because of revolutionary disturbances and how many evil people have a hatred for convents, I went in and had a talk with the Lord and asked Him to so arrange it that no evil person would dare come to the gate. Then I heard these words: My daughter, the moment you went to the gate I set a Cherub over it to guard it. Be at peace. After returning from my conversation with the Lord, I saw a little white cloud and, in it, a Cherub with his hands joined. His gaze was like lightning, and I understood how the fire of God‟s love burns in that look….
1272 (29) September 14, 1937. Exaltation of the Holy Cross. Today I saw what great opposition this priest [Father Sopocko] is experiencing in regard to this whole matter. Even devout souls who are zealous for God‟s glory are opposing him. That he is not discouraged by all this is due to a special grace of God.
1273 Jesus: My daughter, do you think you have written enough about My mercy? What you have written is but a drop compared to the ocean. I am Love and Mercy Itself. There is no misery that could be a match for My mercy, neither will misery exhaust it, because as it is being granted – it increases. The soul that trusts in My mercy is most fortunate, because I Myself take care of it.
1274 I experience great torments of soul when I see God offended. Today I recognized that mortal sins were being committed not far from our door. It was evening. I prayed earnestly in the chapel, (30) and then I went to scourge myself. When I knelt down to pray, however, the Lord allowed me to experience how a soul rejected by God suffers. It seems to me that my heart was torn to pieces, and at the same time I understood how much such a soul wounds the most merciful Heart of Jesus. The poor creature does not want to accept God‟s mercy. The more God has pursued a soul with His mercy, the more just will He be towards it.
1275 My Secretary, write that I am more generous toward sinners that toward the just. It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My
Blood was spilled. Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My mercy.
1276 September 16, 1937. I wanted very much to make a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament today, but God‟s will was otherwise. At eight o‟clock I was seized with such violent pains that (31) I had to go to bed at once. I was convulsed with pain for three hours; that is, until eleven o‟clock at night. No medicine had any effect on me, and whatever I swallowed I threw up. At times, the pains caused me to lose consciousness. Jesus had me realize that in this way I took part in His Agony in the Garden, and that He Himself allowed these sufferings in order to offer reparation to God for the souls murdered in the wombs of wicked mothers. I have gone through these sufferings three times now. They always start at eight o‟clock in the evening and last until eleven. No medicine can lessen these sufferings. When eleven o‟clock comes, they cease by themselves, and I fall asleep at that moment. The following day, I feel very weak.
This happened to me for the first time when I was at the sanatorium. The doctors couldn‟t get to the bottom of it, and no injection or medicine helped me at all (32) nor did I myself have any idea of what the sufferings were about. I told the doctor that never before in my life had I experienced such sufferings, and he declared he did not know what sort of pains they are. But now I understand the nature of these pains, because the Lord Himself has made this known to me…… Yet when I think that I may perhaps suffer in this way again, I tremble. But I don‟t know whether I‟ll ever again suffer in this way; I leave that to God. What it pleases God to send, I will accept with submission and love. If only I could save even one soul from murder by means of these sufferings!
1277 On the day after these sufferings, I can sense the condition of souls and their disposition towards God; I am pervaded with true knowledge.
1278 I received Holy Communion in the manner of the angels, so to speak. My soul is filled with God‟s light and nourishes itself from Him. (33) My feelings are as if dead. This is a purely spiritual union with God; it is a great predominance of spirit over nature.
1279 The Lord gave me knowledge of the graces which He has been constantly lavishing on me. This light pierced me through and through, and I came to understand the inconceivable favors that God has been bestowing on me. I stayed in my cell for a long act of thanksgiving, lying face down on the ground and shedding tears of gratitude. I could not rise from the ground because, whenever I tried to do so, God‟s light gave me new knowledge of His grace. It was only at the third attempt that I was able to get up. As His child, I felt that everything the heavenly Father possessed was equally mine. He Himself lifted me from the ground up to His Heart. I felt that everything that existed was exclusively mine, but I had no desire for it all, because God alone is enough for me.
1280 (34) Today I learned with what aversion the Lord comes to a certain soul in Holy Communion. He goes to that heart as to a dark prison, to undergo torture and affliction. I kept begging His pardon and offering atonement for the offense.
1281 The Lord made known to me that I would see my brother [Stanley211], but I could not understand how this would happen or why he should come to visit me. I knew that God had given him the grace of a religious vocation, but why should he be coming to visit me? However, I put aside these thoughts and believed that if the Lord had given me to know
he would come, that was enough for me. I fixed my thoughts on God, putting aside every preoccupation with creatures and entrusting everything to the Lord.
1282 + When the same poor people come to the gate a second time, I treat them with greater gentleness, and I do not let them (35) see that I know they have been here before; [I do this] in order not to embarrass them. And then they speak to me freely about their troubles and needs.
Although Sister N. tells me that is not the way to deal with beggars, and slams the door in their faces, when she is not there, I treat them as my Master would. Sometimes more is given when giving nothing, than when giving much in a rude manner.
1283 Often the Lord gives me interior knowledge concerning the persons I meet at the gate. One pitiable soul wanted to tell me a bit about herself. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I made her understand, in a delicate way, the miserable condition of her soul. She went away with a better disposition.
1284 September 17, [1937.] O Jesus, I see so much beauty scattered around me, beauty for which I give you (36) constant thanks. But I see that some souls are like stone, always cold and unfeeling. Even miracles hardly move them. Their eyes are always fixed on their feet, and so they see nothing but themselves.
1285 You have surrounded my life with Your tender and loving care, more than I can comprehend, for I will understand Your goodness in its entirety only when the veil is lifted. I desire that my whole life be but one act of thanksgiving to You, O God.
1286 + Thank You, O God, for all the graces
Which unceasingly You lavish upon me,
Graces which enlighten me with the brilliance of the sun,
For by them You show me the sure way.
Thank You, O Lord, for creating me,
For calling me into being from nothingness,
For imprinting Your divinity on my soul,
The work of sheer merciful love.
(37) Thank You, O god, for Holy Baptism
Which engrafted me into Your family,
A gift great beyond all thought or expression
Which transforms my soul.
Thank You, O Lord, for Holy Confession,
For that inexhaustible spring of great mercy,
For that inconceivable fountain of graces
In which sin-tainted souls become purified.
Thank You, O Jesus, for Holy Communion
In which You give us Yourself.
I feel Your Heart beating within my breast
As You cause Your divine life to unfold within me. 290
Thank You, O Holy Spirit, for the Sacrament of Confirmation,
Which dubs me Your knight
And gives strength to my soul at each moment,
Protecting me from evil.
Thank You, O God, for the grace of a vocation
For being called to serve you alone,
Leading me to make You my sole love,
An unequal honor for my soul.
(38) Thank You, O Lord, for perpetual vows,
For that union of pure love,
For having deigned to unite Your pure heart with mine
And uniting my heart to Yours in the purest of bonds.
Thank You, O Lord, for the Sacrament of Anointing
Which, in my final moments, will give me strength;
My help in battle, my guide to salvation,
Fortifying my soul till we rejoice forever.
Thank You, O God, for all the inspirations
That Your goodness lavishes upon me,
For the interior lights given my soul,
Which the heart senses, but words cannot express.
Thank You, O Holy Trinity, for the vastness of the graces
Which You have lavished on me unceasingly through life.
My gratitude will intensify as the eternal dawn rises,
When, for the first time, I sing to Your glory.
1287 + Despite the peace in my soul, I fight a continuous battle with the enemy of my soul. More and more, I am discovering his traps, and the battle flares up anew. (39) During interludes of calm, I exercise myself and keep watch, lest the enemy find me unprepared. And when I see his great fury, I stay inside the stronghold; that is, the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.
1288 September 19, . Today, the Lord told me, My daughter, write that it pains Me very much when religious souls receive the Sacrament of Love merely out of habit, as if they did not distinguish this food. I find neither faith nor love in their hearts. I go to such souls with great reluctance. It would be better if they did not receive Me.
1289 Most sweet Jesus, set on fire my love for You and transform me into Yourself. Divinize me that my deeds may be pleasing to You. May this be accomplished by the power of the Holy Communion which I receive daily. Oh, how greatly I desire to be wholly transformed into You, O Lord!
1290 (40) September 19, 1937. Today my own brother Stanley, visited me. I rejoiced greatly in this beautiful soul, who also intends to devote himself to God‟s service. That is to say,
God Himself is drawing him to His love. We talked for a long time about God, about His goodness. During this conversation with him, I learned how pleasing his soul was to God. I received permission from Mother Superior to see him more often. When he asked my advice about entering religion, I replied, “Surely you know best what God is asking of you.” I mentioned the Jesuit Order, but said, “Enter wherever you like.” I promised to pray for him, and I decided to make a novena to the Sacred Heart through the intercession of Father Peter Skarga with the promise of having it announced in the Messenger of the Sacred Heart,212 because he is having great difficulties in this matter. I understood that, in this case, prayer was more useful than advice.
1291 (41) September 21. Having awakened several times during the night, I thanked God briefly, but with all my heart, for all the graces He has given to me and to our Congregation, [and] I reflected on His great goodness.
1292 When I received Holy Communion, I said to Him, “Jesus, I thought about You so many times last night,” and Jesus answered me, And I thought of you before I called you into being. “Jesus, in what way were You thinking about me?” In terms of admitting you to My eternal happiness. After these words, my soul was flooded with the love of God. I could not stop marveling at how much God loves us.
1293 It so happened that I fell again into a certain error, in spite of a sincere resolution not to do so – even though the lapse was a minor imperfection and rather involuntary – and at this I felt such acute pain in my soul that I interrupted my work and went (42) to the chapel for a while. Falling at the feet of Jesus, with love and a great deal of pain, I apologized to the Lord, all the more ashamed because of the fact that in my conversation with Him after Holy Communion this very morning I had promised to be faithful to Him. Then I heard these words: If it hadn‟t been for this small imperfection, you wouldn‟t have come to Me. Know that as often as you come to Me, humbling yourself and asking My forgiveness, I pour out a superabundance of graces on your soul, and your imperfection vanishes before My eyes, and I see only your love and your humility. You lose nothing but gain much….
1294 The Lord has given me to know that when a soul does not accept the graces intended for it, another soul receives them immediately. O my Jesus, make me worthy of accepting Your graces because, of myself, I can do nothing. Without Your help, I cannot even utter Your Name worthily.
1295 (43) September 25, . When I learned how great are the difficulties in this whole work, I went to the Lord and said, “Jesus, don‟t You see how they are hindering Your work?” And I heard a voice in my soul: Do as much as is in your power, and don‟t worry about the rest. These difficulties prove that this work is Mine. Be at peace so long as you do all that is in your power.
1296 Today, I opened the gate for Mother Superior and knew interiorly that she was going to town on business regarding the work of the Divine Mercy. It is this superior who has contributed most to this whole work of mercy.
1297 Today I imprudently asked two poor children if they really had nothing to eat at home. The children, without answering me, walked away from the gate. I understood how
difficult it was for them to speak about their poverty, so I went after them in a hurry and brought them back, (44) giving them as much as I had permission for.
1298 O God, show me Your mercy
According to the compassion of the Heart of Jesus.
Hear my sighs and entreaties,
And the tears of a contrite heart.
O Omnipotent, ever-merciful God,
Your compassion is never exhausted.
Although my misery is as vast as the sea,
I have complete trust in the mercy of the Lord.
O Eternal Trinity, yet ever-gracious God,
Your compassion is without measure.
And so I trust in the sea of Your mercy,
And sense You, Lord, though a veil hold me aloof.
May the omnipotence of Your Mercy, O Lord.
Be glorified all over the world.
May its veneration never cease.
Proclaim, my soul, God‟s mercy with fervor.
1299 (45) September 27, . Today, Mother Superior and I went to see a certain gentleman213 where they were printing and painting small holy cards of The Divine Mercy, and also the invocations and the chaplet, which have already received approbation. And we were also to see the improved larger image.214 It very much resembles the original. This made me very happy.
1300 When I looked at this image, I was pierced with such a lively love for God that, for a moment, I did not know where I was. When we had finished our business, we went to the Church of the Most Holy Virgin Mary. We attended Holy Mass, during which the Lord gave me to know what a great number of souls would attain salvation through this work. Then I entered into an intimate conversation with the Lord, thanking Him for having condescended to grant me the grace of seeing how the veneration of His unfathomable mercy is spreading. I immersed myself in a profound prayer of thanksgiving. Oh, how great is God‟s generosity! Blessed be the Lord, who is faithful (46) in His promises…..
1301 It is extraordinary how Mother Irene has so much light from God concerning this whole matter. She was the first to allow me to carry out the Lord‟s wishes, although it was not until two years after the revelation that she became my superior. And despite this fact, she was the first to go with me when the painting of the image was first undertaken. And now again, when some things concerning the Divine Mercy are being published, and small holy cards are being printed, again it is she who is going with me [to take care of] this matter. God has ordained all this in a mysterious way, because this was begin in Vilnius, and now God‟s will has so directed the circumstances that this matter is being continued in Cracow. I know how pleasing this superior is to God; I see how God is directing everything and wants me to be under her protection during these important times…. Thank You, Lord, for such superiors, who live in the love (47) and fear of God.
That is why I pray for her most of all, because she has put herself out the most for the sake of this work of Divine Mercy…..
1302 September 29, . Today, I have come to understand many of God‟s mysteries. I have come to know that Holy Communion remains in me until the next Holy Communion. A vivid and clearly felt presence of God continues in my soul. The awareness of this plunges me into deep recollection, without the slightest effort on my part. My heart is a living tabernacle in which the living Host is reserved. I have never sought God in some far-off place, but within myself. It is in the depths of my own being that I commune with my God.
1303 My God, despite all the graces, I long without cease to be eternally united with my God; and the better I know Him, the more ardently I desire Him.
1304 With longing I gaze into the starlit sky,
Into the sapphire of fathomless firmaments.
There the pure heart leaps out to find You, O God,
And yearns to be freed of the bonds of the flesh.
With great longing, I gaze upon you, my homeland,
When will this, my exile, come to an end?
O Jesus, such is the call of Your bride
Who suffers agony in her thirst for You.
With longing, I gaze at the footprints of the saints
Who crossed this wilderness on their way to the fatherland.
They left me the example of their virtue and their counsels,
And they say to me, “Patience, Sister, soon the fetters will break.”
But my longing soul hears not these words.
Ardently it yearns for its Lord and its God,
And it understands not human language,
Because it is enamored of Him alone.
My longing soul, wounded with love,
Forces its way through all created things
(49) And unites itself with infinite eternity,
With the Lord whom my heart has espoused.
Allow my longing soul, O God,
To be drowned in your Divine Three-fold Essence.
Fulfill my desires, for which I humbly beg You,
With a heart brimming with love‟s fire.
1305 A certain person came to the door today and asked to be admitted as one of our students. But she could not be admitted. She was in great need of our house. During the conversation which I had with her, the Passion of Jesus was renewed in me. When she
had gone, I undertook one of the severest mortifications. Nevertheless, the next time I will not let such a soul get away. For three days I suffered much on her account. How much I regret that our institutions are so small and that they cannot accommodate a greater number of souls. My Jesus, You know how much I grieve over every straying sheep…..
1306 (50) + O humility, lovely flower, I see how few souls possess you. Is it because you are so beautiful and at the same time so difficult to attain? O yes, it is both the one and the other. Even God takes great pleasure in her. The floodgates of heaven are open to a humble soul, and a sea of graces flows down upon her. O how beautiful is a humble soul! From her heart, as from a censer, rises a varied and most pleasing fragrance which breaks through the skies and reaches God Himself, filling His Most Sacred Heart with joy. God refuses nothing to such a soul; she is all-powerful and influences the destiny of the whole world. God raises such a soul up to His very throne, and the more she humbles herself, the more God stoops down to her, pursuing her with His graces and accompanying her at every moment with His omnipotence. Such a soul is most deeply united with God. O humility, strike deep roots in my whole being. O Virgin most pure, but also most humble, help me to attain deep (51) humility. Now I understand why there are so few saints; it is because so few souls are deeply humble.
1307 Eternal Love, Depth of Mercy, O Triune Holiness, yet One God, whose bosom is full of love for all, as a good Father You scorn no one. O Love of God, Living Fountain, pour Yourself out upon us, Yours unworthy creatures. May our misery not hold back the torrents of Your love, for indeed, there is no limit to Your mercy.
1308 + Jesus, I have noticed that You seem to be less concerned with me. Yes, My child, I am replacing Myself with your spiritual director [Father Andrasz]. He is taking care of you according to My will. Respect his every word as My own. He is the veil behind which I am hiding. Your director and I are one; his words are My words.
1309 (52) When I make the Way of the Cross, I am deeply moved at the twelfth station. Here I reflect on the omnipotence of God‟s mercy which passed through the Heart of Jesus. In this open wound of the Heart of Jesus I enclose all poor humans…. And those individuals whom I love, as often as I make the Way of the Cross. From that Fount of Mercy issued the two rays; that is, the Blood and the Water. With the immensity of their grace they flood the whole world…….
1310 When one is ill and weak, one must constantly make efforts to measure up to what others are doing as a matter of course. But even those matter-of-course things cannot always be managed. Nevertheless, thank You, Jesus, for everything, because it is not the greatness of the works, but the greatness of the effort that will be rewarded. What is done out of love is not small, O my Jesus, for Your eyes see everything. (53) I do not know why I feel so terribly unwell in the morning; I have to muster all my strength to get out of bed, sometimes even to the point of heroism. The thought of Holy Communion gives me back a little more strength. And so, the day starts with a struggle and ends with a struggle. When I go to take my rest, I feel like a soldier returning from the battlefield. You alone, my Lord and Master, know what this day has contained.
1311 Meditation. During meditation, the sister on the kneeler next to mine keeps coughing and clearing her throat, sometimes without a break. It occurred to me once that I might take
another place for the time of the meditation, because Mass had already been offered. But then I thought that if I did change my place, the sister would notice this and might feel hurt that I had moved away from her. So I decided to continue in prayer in my usual place, (54) and to offer this act of patience to God. Toward the end of the meditation, my soul was flooded with God‟s consolation, and this to the limit of what my heart could bear; and the Lord gave me to know that if I had moved away from that sister I would have moved away also from those graces that flowed into my soul.
1312 + Jesus came to the main entrance today, under the guise of a poor young man. This young man, emaciated, barefoot and bareheaded, and with his clothes in tatters, was frozen because the day was cold and rainy. He asked for something hot to eat. So I went to the kitchen, but found nothing there for the poor. But, after searching around for some time, I succeeded in finding some soup, which I reheated and into which I crumbled some bread, and I gave it to the poor young man, who ate it. As I was taking the bowl from him, he gave me to know that He was the Lord of heaven and earth. When I saw Him as He was, He vanished from my sight. (55) When I went back in and reflected on what had happened at the gate, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, the blessings of the poor who bless Me as they leave this gate have reached My ears. And your compassion, within the bounds of obedience, has pleased Me, and this is why I came down from My throne – to taste the fruits of your mercy.
1313 O my Jesus, now everything is clear to me, and I understand all that has just happened. I somehow felt and asked myself what sort of a poor man is this who radiates such modesty. From that moment on, there was stirred up in my heart and even purer love toward the poor and the needy. Oh, how happy I am that my superiors have given me such a task! I understand that mercy is manifold; one can do good always and everywhere and at all times. An ardent love of God sees all around itself constant opportunities to share itself through deed, word and prayer. Now I understand (56) the words which You spoke to me, O Lord, some time ago.
1314 + Oh, what great efforts I must make to carry out my duties well when my health is so poor! This will be known to You alone, O Christ.
1315 + In times of interior desolation I do not lose my peace, because I know that God never abandons a soul, except perhaps only when the soul itself breaks the bond of love by its unfaithfulness. However, all creatures without exception depend on the Lord and are maintained by His omnipotence. Some are under the rule of love, others under the rule of justice. It depends on us under which rule we want to live, because no one is refused the aid of sufficient grace. I am not frightened at all by my apparent abandonment. I examine myself more profoundly to discover whether this is due to my fault. If this is not the case – then may [the Lord] be blessed!
1316 (57) October 1, 1937. Daughter, I need sacrifice lovingly accomplished, because that alone has meaning for Me. Enormous indeed are the debts of the world which are due to Me; pure souls can pay them by their sacrifice, exercising mercy in spirit.
1317 I understand Your words, Lord, and the magnitude of the mercy that ought to shine in my soul. Jesus: I know, My daughter, that you understand it and that you do
everything within your power. But write this for the many souls who are often worried because they do not have the material means with which to carry out an act of mercy. Yet spiritual mercy, which requires neither permission nor storehouses, is much more meritorious and is within the grasp of every soul. If a soul does not exercise mercy somehow or other, it will not obtain My mercy on the day of judgment. Oh, if only souls knew how to gather eternal treasure for themselves, they would not be judged, for they would forestall My judgment with their mercy.
1318 (58) October 10, . O my Jesus, in thanksgiving for Your many graces, I offer You my body and soul, intellect and will, and all the sentiments of my heart. Through the vows, I have given myself entirely to You; I have then nothing more than I can offer you. Jesus said to me, My daughter, you have not offered Me that which is really yours. I probed deeply into myself and found that I love God with all the faculties of my soul and, unable to see what it was that I had not yet given to the Lord, I asked, “Jesus, tell me what it is, and I will give it to You at once with a generous heart.” Jesus said to me with kindness, Daughter, give Me your misery, because it is your exclusive property. At that moment, a ray of light illumined my soul, and I saw the whole abyss of my misery. In that same moment I nestled close to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus with so much trust that even if I had the sins of all the damned weighing on my conscience, I would not have doubted God‟s mercy (59) but, with a heart crushed to dust, I would have thrown myself into the abyss of Your mercy. I believe, O Jesus, that you would not reject me, but would absolve me through the hand of Your representative.
1319 You expired, Jesus, but the source of life gushed forth for souls, and the ocean of mercy opened up for the whole world. O Fount of Life, unfathomable Divine Mercy, envelop the whole world and empty Yourself out upon us.
1320 At three o‟clock, implore My mercy, especially for sinners; and, if only for a brief moment, immerse yourself in My Passion, particularly in My abandonment at the moment of agony. This is the hour of great mercy for the whole world. I will allow you to enter into My mortal sorrow. In this hour, I will refuse nothing to the soul that makes a request of me in virtue of My Passion…….
J. M. J.
1321 Hail, most merciful Heart of Jesus,
Living Fountain of all graces,
Our sole shelter, our only refuge;
In You I have the light of hope.
Hail, most compassionate Heart of my God,
Unfathomable living Fount of Love
From which gushes life for sinful man
And the Spring of all sweetness.
Hail, open Wound of the Most Sacred Heart,
From which the rays of mercy issued forth
And from which it was given us to draw life
With the vessel of trust alone. 297
Hail, God‟s goodness, incomprehensible,
Never to be measured or fathomed,
Full of love and mercy, though always holy,
Yet, like a good mother, ever bent o‟er us.
Hail, Throne of Mercy, Lamb of God,
Who gave Your life in sacrifice for me,
Before whom my soul humbles itself daily,
Living in faith profound.
[End of Notebook Four] 298
of the Blessed Sacrament
of the Congregation of the
Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy
NOTEBOOK V 299